“What?”
I take the plate from her hands and place it next to mine. Then I lean over her, pressing my tongue into her mouth, enjoying the sweet taste of dessert that lingers inside her. I delicately push her back onto the bed and climb on top of her, listening to her sigh the moment my cock presses between her legs. She moans as I slip inside her, filling her again. Her hands grab my face, pulling me closer.
Our bodies are entwined once again, our lives finally starting to walk along, side-by-side.
49
Nick
Iwatch her slowly get dressed, gathering her hair from the nape of her neck and studying her reflection in the mirror, checking whether she’s presentable – which is pretty much impossible after the evening we’ve had. I watch her move around the apartment, looking for her shoes, before scanning around her to make sure she has everything, as if this were some one-night-stand. As if she had no intention of staying. And I’m not just talking about this apartment, or this evening; it seems like she’s trying to get out of my life.
Casey is at ease with this whole situation. We slept together, we had sex. We kissed, explored each other’s bodies. We were there for each other – and now she’s ready to just leave it all behind, as if nothing had happened between us. As if what we shared meant nothing to her. I’ve watched this same scene so many times in the past; it’s almost a part of me, the same way it’s always been when I’ve slept with a woman and I didn’t even want to stay until the sun came up.
It’s a scene that makes my chest feel empty, as if there’s a huge chasm opening itself up and swallowing my life, burying me under all the shitty mistakes I’ve ever made. They weigh me down inside – and I’m starting to think that they’re weighing her down, too.
“Don’t do it,” I say suddenly, leaning against the back of the sofa.
She turns as she fiddles with the laces of her shoes. “What?”
The sentence comes straight from my stomach, leaping up my flaming throat, trying to find the right way out.
“Don’t go.”
She stops and looks at me, a frown etched into her face.
Please, Casey. Don’t leave. I know that, if you leave now, I’ll lose everything. I want you to stay; I want you to sleep next to me, waking up tomorrow morning with my mouth on yours. I want to see you wandering naked around the house, opening my fridge, drinking my coffee.
I want to see you in my life. And I want you to stay there.
“Stay,” is all I manage to say.
And I don’t know what it is, this thing that’s churning around inside me – but it makes me imagine things I’ve never considered before. Things I never thought would be possible, but are starting to make me believe that I can’t go on without them. I can’t help it.
“I want you to stay.”
My God, what have I been doing with my life? Who was I? I used to roam around, empty, waiting to go back to the point I started at. But, Casey, I could never survive anywhere that isn’t next to you.
“I have work tomorrow. You’d have to drop me home really early.”
Please, stay. Fill me up, Casey. Fill the void that I have in my heart. The void that’s taking over my whole fucking life. Fill it up with your eyes, your smile; your jokes, your teasing, your happiness and your kindness.
Fill it withyou.
Because I know that I was the one who left. I was the one who walked away, who broke your heart. But right now, the only one who’s broken, who needs to be put back together, is me.
Pull me out of the flames, Casey. Take me to your paradise.
“That’s okay. I just want you to stay with me tonight.”
“Are you asking me? Or are you ordering me?” she asks, raising an eyebrow.
“I’m begging you.”
Her eyes are uncertain. I can see them flickering, trying to read mine, to work out whether I’m being serious, or whether this is just another one of my stupid jokes.
Then a smile spreads across her face, and I feel the flames slowly start to recede.
“You’re not joking.”
