“Wow, good guess.”
“And that, maybe, it wasn’t what you expected.”
I turn sharply towards him.
“So I’m right, then.”
“Let’s see how right you are once I dump you head-first in those bins over there.”
“Getting pissed off at my intelligence isn’t going to help you.”
I shake my head, frustrated.
“It was more; much more. And now you don’t think you can handle the rest.”
“I can handle anything.”
“Not unless you bring it out into the open, mate.”
Does that bastard always have to be right?
“You don’t have to tell me anything. But if something’s bothering you, or stopping you from moving forward, then you have to tell her: before it’s too late.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
“It isn’t. But none of the best things in life are easy. That’s why they’re so important to us: because it takes so much strength to grab hold of them in the first place.”
“I’m trying to take control of this whole thing; to pick up exactly where we left off. But I can’t burden us again, Jamie.”
“You don’t have to try and recreate the past – you could end up staying exactly where you are, never moving forwards. You have to stop looking over your shoulder; what happened, happened. Now you only have to focus on the future. And you know what’s good about the future? You can try to build something new, learning from the mistakes you made in the past. Give her everything you arenow, and make her realise that you’ll stick around tomorrow, too.”
“Do you reckon that’ll be enough for her?”
“I don’t know; but if itisn’tenough for her, then she’s not the one, mate.”
“Mmm…”
“This time, you actually do want her. This isn’t just another one of your stupid games.”
“So you spoke to my brothers.”
Jamie smiles. “Just let go of what you were, and what you did. Stop hiding behind that cocky, smartarse front you put up; behind your muscles and your jokes. Stop hiding yourself away, mate – because the people who really love us understand that we’re not really like that. They work it out. You can’t spend your whole life trying to trick people. If you want them to love you, to stick around, then you just have to be you – even if you’re not sure that it’s enough. Because, one day, they might wake up and realise that the person lying next to them is a stranger; then they’ll be gone. People want to lovepeople, not the masks they hide behind, or the tricks they play. If you want her to love you, you have to let her love Nick – not just the Nick you pretend to be.”
Holy shit. I think I’m starting to hate him. How the hell does he always get into your head, dig through all the shit, and come out with gold?
“How can you say I’m pretending? You’ve known me forever. I’ve always been like this.”
“You just answered your own question, Nick. I’ve known you forever.”
I smile, despite myself.
“And I always see something a little too familiar in you.”
I watch him as he gets to his feet, slipping seamlessly back into the normal Jamie.
“Come on. They’re about to pass out on the grass over there.” He skips off down the steps.
I stand up, too, turning his words around in my mind, starting to realise that he’s right. It’s useless trying to remind her of what we were, only ever showing her the Nick that everyone else sees. She has to see me: who I really am, everything I can give to her.
