As I allow the guys to accompany me off the field, as the paramedics escort me to the changing room, as they sit me down and dress my wounds, I realise that I’ve got one wound that no one can heal; because the only one who could help me is the same person who injured me.
There are certain hits we don’t recover from – not by resting, not with time, not with medicine. Not even with a miracle. They’re the ones that mark your soul and prevent you from ever going back to what you were before.
I get dressed slowly, still in a daze from the pain. They dressed my external wounds, but the internal wounds bleed through my chest.
* * *
The guys cometo see me one by one to ask how I’m doing and I limit myself to simple nods of the head, because if I even tried to say one word, I’d probably start bawling like a baby. A baby who’s abandoned by his mother, hidden near the bleachers of a rugby field.
I look at my phone again. I close my eyes and take a deep breath before deciding to put it away, along with this insane desire to have something that’s just mine.
I zip up my bag and sling it over my shoulder, heading towards the changing room exit, when I see a figure I’d really rather not see right now standing there leaning against the frame.
“Everything alright?” Nick asks, strangely concerned.
“What are you doing here?”
“I came to watch the game. How do you feel?”
“They just threw me to the ground and stomped on me like a herd of mad bulls.”
“Nothing we’re not used to.”
I smile bitterly.
“Can I drive you home?”
“The bus is waiting for me.”
“I don’t think the coach will mind if you leave with me.”
I shrug.
“Come on,” he says taking my bag and hauling it over his shoulder. “Let me be the big brother.”
* * *
Getting back home,I throw myself on the sofa.
“Want a beer?” Nick offers, opening the fridge.
I nod, covering my eyes with my arm.
I hear him moving around, and after a few seconds he joins me. He passes me the beer and I accept it, sitting up with a little difficulty.
“We’re only going to get older,” he says, taking a jab at me.
“I just had a bad day.”
“At least you guys won.”
“Did you ever think we wouldn’t?” I look at him in challenge and he replies with a grin.
“It’s exciting watching your games,” he says with a trace of bitterness in his voice. “I’ve always envied the team spirit you have here.”
“Well, wearea team, on and off the field.”
“Yep…” he takes a few more pulls on his beer. “You’re the best, bro, the best in the family.”
