“Damn right, I will.”
She smiles slightly and I feel something building in me: hope.Salvation.
She doesn’t know me, doesn’t know what lengths I’ll go to, to get what I want. And right now, there is only one thing I want, and she’s sitting right in front of me.
“You’re very confident,” she smirks.
“You have no idea,” I tell her, letting my eyes run over her body, and her face goes aflame.
Okay, I fucked this up a year ago. Actually, my messing it up has lasted a lot longer than that: it started when I met her, when she set down her roots, the kind you can’t get rid of even if you dig up the earth. And I thought I could just pull them out with my bare hands.
I thought I could ignore the signs, the acid in my stomach, the heart beating too fast and the sighs. I thought I could spare myself. But that doesn’t work for anyone, not even the biggest arseholes.
Because the people that destiny sets in front of you are there to be loved. You have to take everything good about them and safeguard it, like a precious treasure you’ve been searching for your whole life. You have to love them for all their flaws, their fears and insecurities because that’s what makes them real, vulnerable, unique. You can’t renounce all that, throw it away or hold it against them just because you’re a hard-headed idiot.
You just need to love people and try to make them happy, do your best. And give yourself to them completely, let them see you as you really are and let them decide if they want to stay or not. You can’t lock them out just because you’re afraid that they’ll wake up one day and realise they’ve made a mistake.
“I know I’m going to regret this,” she says shaking her head and taking a blueberry muffin. “I love these,” she says, starting to relax.
“I love them too,” I smile at her.
She’s set down her battle axe. Her walls are starting to crack. I can already see the first brick falling to the ground and turning into dust at my feet. I just need a tiny something to work with, something I can grab onto that allows me to slip back into her life and convince her that she was made only for me.
I made the biggest mistake a person could make, but now I’m here to make it right.
