Ian
I’m back to living my life, back to the routine I had before her.
I take all my emotion out in the gym, on the field when I can, but I’m still a disaster. The coach keeps threatening to bench me, and I just take it and bury it because I don’t know what else to do.
Not even sport has the same meaning for me that it once did.
Sitting on the bench and looking ahead of me, Jamie comes to sit by my side.
“Okay, I pretended for a while, but now I have to tell you what I have to say,” Jamie starts with a low, serious voice. “This is just a warning, but it could become permanent.”
“You can do what you want, Jamie.”
“The problem is, I don’t want to. The team doesn’t want to. Neither do the coach or the president, for God’s sake.”
I shrug.
“In two weeks, we’re going to begin training for the Nationals, Ian. Do you really want to throw this all away? How hard have you worked to be here? How long have you waited for the call?”
“My whole life,” I say through gritted teeth.
“Exactly. And now you’re throwing it all in the shitter.”
“It’s just a shitty time.”
“Think about your family, your father.”
I close my eyes suddenly.
“How are things going at home?”
“There are good days and terrible ones.”
He puts his hand on my shoulder. “Have you seen her?”
I shake my head.
“Mmm?”
“Okay, yes. I’ve seen her passing by.”
“In passing you say? Someone told me you go to Parnell street every day.”
“What?!” I say, jumping to my feet a little too quickly. “Who the hell…?”
But there’s no need for him to tell me.
Fucking Ryan.Now I really would like that chainsaw.
“He’s worried about you. We all are.”
“No need. I’m all grown up and I don’t need anyone checking up on me or giving me pep talks.”
“That’s true,” he says standing up. “You don’t need it. You don’t need anything, do you?”
“Nope.”
“She’s not well. Again. She’s really angry with me but she’ll get over it. She can’t keep it up forever.”
