To let me love her.
She stares at it for a minute, biting her lip, then looks up at me and I swallow hard, pushing down that heart that’s trying to make its way out through my throat.
I see indecision in her eyes, insecurity, fear and I almost stop breathing, waiting for the smallest sigh that there’s something else behind all that.
I stay with my arm extended, hand open to her, palm up, sure and sweet because that’s all I want to give her. All of the confidence she needs and all the sweetness I am capable of giving.
And then her eyes start to open and change shades, becoming deeper. The color of a June sky, clear and limpid: the color of summer that is awakening and bring with it new possibilities.
And when I see that spark all of my darkness explodes in a joyous concert of infinite melodies, warming my heart and confirming the knowledge that from now on, I will never be without this. That from this moment forward, I will fill this woman’s life with the same colors and sounds. That not a day will pass without me telling her how much I admire her. That there will not be a moment when she doesn’t feel loved.
She squeezes my fingers and stands up. She stops for a second away from me and smiles tenderly and I could faint with joy. We walk hand-in-hand along the beach in dark silence, cradled in the peace of this place and in our souls.
“I lied to you before.”
“What are you talking about?”
“When I said I didn’t know why I was at the pub. It was a lie. I knew why I was there but I didn’t know what to do or how to tell you…”
I stop in my tracks and turn to look her in the eyes.
“Whatever it is, it’s not important. Because you are here with me. That’s all that matters.”
“Really?”
I smile at her.
She lowers her glance and sighs.
“I know that things between us were rushed, confused and not at all clear. I’d just like to take it slow, that’s it. I don’t want you to rush everything just because you’re afraid of losing me. I’d like to start over. Do you think it’s possible?”
My heart jumps right out of my chest.
I come closer to her and caress her face.
“Anything you want, Ciara. I have to tell you though, I’m completely—”
“Shh…” She puts a finger to my lips. “You don’t have to say it. You don’t have to say anything.”
“This time I do have to say it. You need to know, you have to hear it for yourself.”
“I don’t want you feeling like you have some obligation to me because of what happened or because you’re scared. I want you to tell me only when you’re ready. Without fear or anxiety. Only then will I be able to believe you.”
I smile and slide my hand behind her nape to pull her in for a kiss.
“Okay,” I whisper in her mouth. “I agree.”
Ciara bites her lip nervously.
“Too soon for a kiss?”
“Hmm?”
“If I were to kiss you now, for example. Would it be too forward? Would it be insensitive of me? A real asshole thing to—”
“Aaron.”
“Yes?”
