10
CIARA
A full tour and an afternoon at school have helped to keep me busy and from getting my mind bogged down. It wasn’t easy but my job is enjoyable and it was soothing for me and something healthy for my wounded heart.
It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have gotten so close, I shouldn’t have tried. All these years I’ve confined myself just to blushing in silence and dreaming of something that could never be.
That goddamned roof.
If it hadn’t been for that episode, nothing would have changed, I wouldn’t have made a fool out of myself and brought to light something that I had hidden under a good layer of dust, and kept myself safe from suffering.
I sigh as I gather my notes and get up from my chair. I turn around without thinking and run smack into someone.
“Oh God, sorry!”
“It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have crept up behind you like that,” says Mark.
“Naw, I’m just distracted.”
“Boyfriend troubles?”
I blush and look down. “I haven’t got one,” I say through my teeth.
“That’s good to know.” He smiles, maliciously.
I blush even more.
“Want to go grab a coffee?”
A coffee? With him?
Mark is a guy I go to school with. We have a lot of classes together but he is specializing in renovation and wants to go to work right after school. I, on the other hand, am planning on doing an internship with the hopes of going on to teach.
He’s a cute guy, nice and usually smiles a lot. He’s standing in front of me now in total confidence and looks even a bit arrogant while I have just turned every shade of red.
I don’t mind the attention he pays me. His blue eyes and smile don’t leave me indifferent, and maybe if this thing hadn’t just gone down with Aaron, who knows what might have happened… but Aaron rejected me, I remind myself.
Just a friend. He thinks of me like a sister. Nothing more.
His words burn my pride and my dignity too. I hear them echo in my mind over and over again, even if I’m not able to accept it.
“So? What’s it gonna be?” Mark asks and I realize I haven’t given him my answer yet.
“I have to be going now.”
“I see,” he says, disappointed.
“I’d like to, but my brother’s wedding and you know how it is, everyone is going nuts at home right now, so I’ve got to get back there.”
“I can give you a lift, I’ve got a car.”
I consider it for a moment. It’s not like I want to waste an extra half an hour on the bus.
“But it’s in Howth,” I say doubtfully, biting my lip.
“I don’t have other plans.” He shrugs and a victory smile spreads across his lips.
“Oh, why not,” I agree and we head towards the door.
