“Stay, please stay,” I say without hesitating. “We’re going to play in a bit, and I’d like you to hear us.”
“Just for a few songs then.”
“Perfect,” I say, getting off my stool.
“And Jason?”
“Yes?”
“Don’t worry. Everything’ll work out.”
I clench my fists, nod and walk away before my emotions can betray me, showing me for what I really am.
Weak, terrified, lost.
She is here, a few meters away from me, and the awareness that in a few days she could be gone makes every gesture I offer seem useless.
I feeluseless.
I understand that all the love in the world cannot save her. All the love that I have for her isn’t enough and never will be.
I can’t protect her.
I can’t protect the woman I love.
—
ALEX
“Hey Dad, come with us.”
“Nah, I don’t want to interfere with your girl talk.”
“Oh Joe,” Rain intervenes. “We’re not saying anything you don’t already know.”
My dad laughs and sits at the table with me and Rain as we wait for the guys to take the stage. I’m happy he stayed to listen to the guys play and is spending a bit of time with us. Makes it seem real, easy. I wish it could always be like this.
I see Liam get up on stage and check the amplifiers and make sure everything’s in place. He is followed by the others, who grab their instruments and get ready for a few minutes before Jason takes the mic.
“Here we are. It’s Thursday night and theFour Reasons To Dieare ready to make this night more of a ruckus than it already is thanks to the four pints you’ve already downed…Yes, I’m talking to you Big Ned, it’s useless to pretend you don’t know who I’m talking about. Sorry for the delay, and here we go,” he concludes and I’m thinking, this is the strangest intro I’ve ever heard.
I smile from the table and he rewards me with his dimples and I sink my nails into Rain’s arm, who lets out a scream in surprise. My father looks at me and, laughing under his mustache, shakes his head.
I try to gather myself but I get lost just a second later watching his hands fly over the guitar strings—these same hands that were sweetly caressing my back last night.
’Cause if one day you wake up and find that you’re missing me… And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be.
Oh mama. I wasn’t expecting this.
Thinking maybe you’ll come back here to the place that we’d meet… And you’ll see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.
He doesn’t take his eyes off me and as Liam sings and the others are busy playing on their instruments, he doesn’t take his eyes off of me.
His hands fly on their own, they don’t need to look at the chords, but he is looking at me, because this song is for me.
So I’m not moving, I’m not moving.
And he stays frozen like that, even his hands stop.
