I can’t lose the woman I love.
Not another time.
Not forever.
—
ALEX
“And so, you’re together now.”
Rain called me during my break and obviously wants to know everything, but the truth is that there isn’t very much to say.
“That’s what he decided.”
“Explain that please…”
“I don’t know. I think he’s completely crazy.”
“Well, that’s for sure, he’s crazy about you, Alex.”
“Mmm-Uhm.”
“What is it? Is something wrong, honey?” she asks.
“It’s just all going so quickly that I haven’t had time to reflect on it at all. I’m not sure if I can—”
“Alex,” her voice chastises me over the phone.
“He is ready to do anything, to be with me in any way that I feel like.”
“Uh, that’s good, right?”
“Well, what if I want it all, Rain? If I wanted toreally be with him?”
“I would say, good, it’s time to make the leap.”
“I’m almost twenty-three years old and have never had a full relationship with a guy…with a man, and now I want it, I want all of him.”
“That’s great, dear. It’s what you deserve.”
“Yeah, great.”
“What is it that’s stopping you? Are you afraid of something?”
“I’m not afraid of what could happen to me, I’m afraid that if something did happen, he wouldn’t get over it. The thing would kill him. He’s lost his mother, he lost Neil, he almost lost me and now…he could lose me again. I don’t want that for him.”
Rain sighs before speaking. “Let him decide. Jay has changed, you said so yourself. He’s not a little boy any more, he’s a man and I can assure you that he’s ready to face whatever comes.”
“Things are a bit complicated at the moment.”
“What does that mean?” she asks and I can hear her voice cracking under tears.
“Don’t get upset, please.”
“I’m not getting upset.” She says, sobbing. “Y-you’re…you’re…”
Rain starts stuttering, signaling that she is stressed out.
