12
JASON
“Hey, weren’t you guys going out tonight?” I ask.
Liam and Rain walk into the pub and sit down at the bar.
“What’s up, why the long faces?”
They exchange a glance as if they have no idea how to respond.
“Is everything alright, you guys? Rain, are you okay?”
“Yes, Jay,I’mfine”
“Well then, what’s the problem?”
“It’s Alex.”
My heart falls to the floor.
“She is…she is…”
“She’s in the hospital, she’s fine.”
Christ, I can keep living.
“What happened, why…”
“She lost consciousness and hit her head falling. Her dad got scared and called the ambulance. They’re going to keep her in for observation overnight.”
I let myself fall onto the stool and rest my elbows on the counter and my head against closed fists. My thoughts crowd my head and run at an impressive speed I am unable to control.
Alex is in the hospital and I’m here…doing what? Why aren’t I there with her?
“Where?” I ask without lifting my head. “Which ward is she in?”
••••••
I open the door without making any noise. Her father lets me in. He’s real happy to see me.
I move a plastic chair in the corner of the room to her bedside and I sit down next to her.
I can do it. I have to.
This time, I won’t run away.
I’ll never run away again.
Her face is pale but calm. I look at her and she’s so thin and weary that it takes all my strength not to grab her and squeeze her to let her know that I’m here for her this time.
I caress her hand and she does not react at all. And so I take her hand in mine and bring it to my lips. I touch it delicately as I keep in my emotions, all of them that I’ve held in all these years so as not to show anyone my weakness.
Sheis my only weakness.
It would have been so easy to forget her if her face wasn’t always right in front of me like a blurry, aged image you just can’t help looking at.
It would have been so easy if the memory of her eyes imploring me to get out of her life would stop tormenting me every minute of my stupid fucking life.
