28
JASON
“What the fuck are you doing there?”
“Don’t you knock?”
“Wrong guy.”
Patrick comes into my room without thinking twice about it. I’m sitting on the ground in the dark and don’t really know how long it’s been. I left everything as it was, creating the illusion that she’s still here with me in this room. I can’t even look at the unmade bed for fear that the image of her body in my bed will just disappear along with everything else.
“What’s going on?” Patrick asks, sitting down next to me.
“What do you think?” I reply without looking at him.
“You’re a mess. Have you even taken a shower?”
What the hell do I care? Alex has been in the hospital since this morning having tests in preparation for the operation. She said she’d let me know when there was news but I still haven’t heard anything and I am slowly dying. My life is leaking out of my body and my mind and I’m not able to follow thoughts or move until I know everything is okay.
“Have you heard from her?”
I turn to him slowly, piercing him with my stare.
“I’m going to say no on that one.” He replies sarcastically and for a second I see the old Patrick the asshole, who everyone would like to take a turn at to vent their rage.
“Don’t you have something else to do? A woman to love? A child to take care of?” I take it out on him, because he’s Patrick, he’s strong and indestructible, able to handle anything, not weak like me.
I’m weak and a coward and completely good for nothing.
“I was just wondering what you’re doing here.”
I look at him without really listening to his words.
“She’s in the hospital, right? She’s about to go through all this shit and you’re here crying and pulling your hair out and she’s alone.”
“She asked me not to go. She’s not alone, her family is there.”
“Ah, sure, her family. And you? What are you? Let’s hear it.”
“What the hell do you want, Patrick!” I yell, getting to my feet. He does the same, and stands in front of me.
“You’re an idiot, Jay!”
“Don’t provoke me,” I say through clenched teeth, coming dangerously close to his face.
“You can punch me if it helps you feel better, friend. But the truth is you’re behaving like a selfish idiot. She’s there and you’re here crying like an idiot. You say you love her, you say she’s everything…and then? You let her go by herself?”
“You don’t know shit.”
“Right. I’m the one who never understands anything. It’s nice dumping all your faults on to me isn’t itJason.The truth is you aren’t man enough to face all of this with her. It’s true, her family is there, let’s just swallow that bullshit. The only thing she needs is you.”
Shit. This asshole is right.
“What should I do? Go there? In this state? Pray maybe?”
“You have to go there to be by her side, that’s what you have to do,” he tells me, slapping me right across the head.
“Is it possible that you’re all a bunch of morons in this house? Do I always have to come and reason with you and pull your heads out of the sand?”
