I shake my head and take a step forward, toward
the front door and then stop again. I look down
angrily, clenching my fists.
You don’t have to do it, Patrick,I tell myself.
You’re not obligated to.
The guys are waiting for me near the door.
“You go ahead, I’ll close up,” I say, avoiding
looking at Rain’s satisfied smile.
~ ~ ~
I wasn’t able to be away from her for even twenty-
four hours. I can’t put the brakes on this instinct I
have to be next to her, to make sure she’s all right.
I have a growing and frightening need to protect
her and take care of her.
Slowly, I climb the stairs, hoping and praying
that she’s sleeping, that she’s locked the door and
that she doesn’t hear me knock.
Please, let her refuse my help.
The music coming from inside tells me it’s not
my lucky night.
I knock on the door but I can see it isn’t locked,
so I push it and take a deep breath, asking my
lungs to fill themselves because the sight of her
takes away both my breath and my certainty.
Erin is tidying up the living room. She’s
wearing a pair of sweatpants low on her waist so
that you can see the first signs of her pregnancy. A
faded T-shirt that just covers her rounded belly, her
hair is short, pulled back into an improvised
ponytail that’s not doing its job very well.
