resentful and angry and I understand what Patrick
was telling me about losing control, because he’s
doing it right now. “No one will tell me
otherwise.”
Patrick’s look gets harder still but I face him
with my head up.
“Nate and I need to talk.”
“About what?” he challenges, raising his chin in
anger.
“Ourbaby.”
I can see his heart falling to pieces through his
eyes and I can also hear the sound in my ears. It’s
deafening, one of those noises that makes you lose
your hearing and your lucidity and makes you
wish you were dead, instead of hiding in a three-
foot deep hole.
We look at each other for a few seconds, and I
already know it’s over.
The light has gone out and the hope is shattered.
I’ve hurt him. Hurt him in the worst way
possible. I’ve just made the biggest mistake of my
life and I can’t take it back now. And I know
apologizing wouldn’t serve any purpose.
Patrick closes his eyes and when he reopens
them all I can see is blackness, profound and
infinite. Something impossible to come back from.
His heart has been drowned in the darkness of
his soul and nothing will bring it back.
Patrick
Our baby,she says.
