That’s what love is? This is what we’re reduced
to? This is what love reduces people to?
None of my siblings got out without damage
from our father in our lives, just like our mother.
We carry the wounds that have healed. The ones
that teach you that life can be a real shit sandwich,
and so can love. That certain people hurt you and
frequently they do it on purpose. You can’t even
trust your own parents, because they too could
leave you in any moment and then there you are
alone and insecure with your hopes down the drain
and your heart turned to stone.
After having calmed Danny down and
reassuring mom that everything’s going to be fine,
that I will always take care of them, I go back to
the pub. Tonight I have to work even if I’d like to
run to her to find out how things are going with
her father.
So I make my way to the door ofOnly4youwith
my morale in the toilet, worried about my family
and in desperate need of some dark liquid to drown
my anxiety in.
I feel a wreck, and without any certainties. I
think that my life is a big disaster, everything
always goes wrong. There doesn’t seem to be any
hope to breathe in any happiness and love when
people hurt each other, deliberately trading barbs
with little regard for the consequences.
What’s the use of even trying? What’s the use of
trying to find a reason to go on?
