bought once a year at Christmas.
She smiles at me and I melt like a baby in front
of a puppy, like an idiot in love and completely
gone, slave to something I didn’t look for, but did
manage to unearth despite it’s being far from the
sun.
Because this girl is like the unexpected sun that
turns up on a crappy day. One of those days you’re
convinced it’ll never stop raining. And yet, it does,
the clouds open up and the first rays of light
appear in the sky, letting you know that
tomorrow’s going to be a better day.
That’s how I feel when she looks at me. I feel
hope grow and life is colored in a hundred shades
and my heart starts to beat again.
Why is she so special? Why is she able to make
me believe I can be different, to be better than
what I was yesterday?
“Erin…” I make a last attempt, trying to think
like the old Patrick, even if I know it’s too late for
that. The old Patrick is waving goodbye from a
distance and slamming the door behind him.
I let her touch my face with her warm hand and
it’s shaking and I feel a strange sensation, a sort of
tickling in my eyes.
Am I about to cry?
“Don’t do it, please. You’re going to get hurt.
You’ll hurt yourself. You said it, I’m good for a
night and a goodbye kiss.”
“I’m scared too,” she says instead.