I guess I’ve had a lot on my mind.
I reach the Toyota, take off enough branches so that I can open the back passenger door, and empty everything into the seat.I slip the strap of the empty duffel over my back and head up the trail for another load.
The sun is warm on my face as it filters down through the pine needles and cottonwood leaves.I decide that there’s no harm in asking.It can’t hurt.
“Dad,” I say out loud.“I’m in a really bad place and I’m not gonna lie—I’ve never been so scared in my life.If you’ve got any of those earthly angels hanging around where you are, I sure could use some help.Now might be a good time.”
The wind rises, lifting my hair, and it makes me smile to think that maybe he was listening.It’s a comfort, and I’ll take it.
About ten minutes later, I crest the back path and start walking toward the camp.But then I stop.I hear the crunch of leaves.Someone’s here.
I’m about to grab my gun when I hear a voice.
“Boots.”
I spin around—totally unprepared for what I see.Special K’s in his usual jeans and denim jacket and is leaning against a thick pine, Pussy in his arms.But his cowboy hat is on the ground and his face is etched with heartbreak and worry.He swallows hard.
His glance shifts to empty the duffel bag and then back to my face.I close my eyes and feel my shoulders sink in embarrassment.He knows.He went inside the cabin, so he’s seen the disarray.
It must look like a crazy woman was in there pulling out her hair, talking to herself, and throwing random crap around all while trying not to cry.Which about sums it up.
I dare open my eyes to look at him.
Special K pushes away from the tree and walks to me, slow and steady, his gaze locked on mine.The agony is fading, and something else is taking its place—cast-iron conviction.He’s absolutely sure that whatever comes next is the right thing.
And that’s when it hits me…
My earthly angel is already here.
My angel’s even blessed with the stereotypical blond curls and unearthly violet eyes.Here I was, asking Dad to send the right person to me before it’s too late, and he was standing right in front of me.
Special K says nothing.The duffel strap slips off my shoulder and the empty bag lands in the pine needles.And when he reaches me, I feel my knees buckle.He catches me in the crook of his arm and goes in for the kiss.
And I understand that the thing he’s absolutely sure about isme.
He clutches me tight, like he plans to hold onto me forever.He walks me backward toward the cabin.The kiss is intense but straightforward.There’s no confusion in what he’s telling me.He’s simply making a statement.
I’m his.End of sentence.
What have I done?
We reach the door.Special K lowers Pussy to the floor, releases her leash, and pushes me inside.He slams the door shut with his bootheel and keeps moving me.When my back touches the wall, it occurs to me why this feels so familiar.
This is how it started.This is how he kissed me the first time.We’ve come quite a distance since then, and yet here we are, full circle.
My face is wet.But not from my tears.His.And I reach up to cup his face in my hands.
The man is making me his while he’s planning how to make me disappear.It’s got to be hell for him, too.
I don’t know what’s worse—knowing I’ve already hurt him or knowing that no matter what I do, no matter what happens next, I’ll end up hurting him again.
CHAPTER 44
Special K
Boots is beneath me, naked and radiant.Soft under my touch and my mouth.And she moves like silky water against me while her lips dance with mine.
I can’t get enough of her.I’ll never get enough.And yet I’m determined to help her disappear.