Bud’s a great manager.He’s the best boss I’ve ever had, and I consider him a friend.But if I don’t at least check in, I’ll get my ass fired, no doubt about it.
An owl screeches so loudly that I gasp and slap a hand against my chest.Holy shit, owls can be loud!It sounds like someone’s getting murdered.As the owl continues to scream, I hug myself and shudder, glad I decided to leave Pussy safe inside the cabin.
That could be me, I realize.If Niko finds me, I’ll be the woman screaming.
Take a breath, Frankie.
I force myself to calm down.I hear the owl flap its wings and take off out of a nearby tree.I tip my head to watch it fly away, but it’s impossible to see anything in the darkness.But as I raise my gaze, I smile at all the stars.Up here on the mountaintop, they really put on a show.I know that in a few hours, the Milky Way will look so big that it’ll seem like I’m swimming in it.
Dad would like it here, I think.He would appreciate the wild beauty of the place.I wish I could share it with him.I wish he could sit next to me on this huge stump and tell me about the tree that used to stand here.It must have been a giant, he would say, and then he’d try again to teach me how to make s’mores.
I should have been more appreciative of him when he was alive.
A hot tear rolls down my cheek, and I wipe it away.I’ve wandered so far from the things my father taught me.He wouldn’t be ashamed of my choice of jobs, not at all.He’d be proud of how smart I’ve been with my money, that I’m a homeowner in my twenties.He’d also be proud of how hard I work.
But I have no doubt that Dad would be sorely disappointed in my taste in men, and specifically for bringing Niko into my life.If my dad was alive when I started dating Niko, he would have set me straight and put an end to it before it began.
“Trust your gut, Frank.”He would’ve said, resting his big hands on my shoulders and making me look him in the eye.“You already know what he brings to the table—how much grief and how much goodness.Trust yourself.”
Like all members of The Protectors, Dad had his run-ins with the law.But it was always about shooting straight from the hip for those men, especially Dad.
And defending those they love.That more than anything.
Sure, I would’ve been pissed off at my father for getting involved in my love life, but I would’ve known that I deserved any lecture he unloaded on me.And I would’ve listened to him the way everyone did.
When he died—suddenly and horribly—I was heartbroken.I knew I had to put miles of distance between myself and my memories.Some things can’t be left behind, I learned.Heartbreak is forever.It softens and dulls over time, but it is always there.
I’ll forever be heartbroken that my father is no longer here to encourage me, to assure me that I’m capable of doing whatever I set my mind to.
I kick at the cooling embers and begin to cry.I don’t wipe the tears because no one is here to notice.Only the critters in the woods can see that I’m not as strong as I let on.
For the first time in many years, I give myself permission to fall apart.
CHAPTER 20
Special K
The first thought that occurs to me when I wake up is that I’ve got to get back to Boots.Nothing else matters.And though I’m aware that StellaR Tech business needs my attention and ranch work needs to get done, I realize that it’s taking a backseat to the only thing I want.
I want to see her.Today.
It’s that flamethrower of a kiss.I know the way I pushed up on her was way out of line.But she didn’t seem to mind.She was all in.
And I want more out-of-line time with her.I want it all.
I jump out of bed, take a quick shower, and brush my teeth.I skip the razor—no time to shave.I slip on a pair of Wranglers and a black long-sleeve T-shirt and find my boots where I left them in the foyer.I slip them on and go to open my front door, shocked that I’m unable to.
Because I forgot I locked it last night.I head outside and walk down the lane in the brisk morning air of the mountains.
I head down the lane toward Cal’s house and the secure meeting room within.We have an important conference this morning.There’s so much happening with StellaR Tech these days that I’m barely keeping up with the developments.Most of what we do is classified and the tech we provide to our U.S.government partners is cutting-edge.For that reason, there are a lot of bad actors—other countries and private companies—who’d love to get their hands on it.We can’t be too careful.
And apparently, we can’t get too rich.Because the money keeps on coming.
I don’t know how much money I have, exactly.Most is stacking up in index funds, a range of investments both big and small.I invest directly in a few startups if I find their approach particularly interesting.The rest goes right back into the company or the ranch, and whatever is left I send to charities.
Always anonymously.Otherwise, that kind of shit gets awkward fast.
Today, we’ll be watching our San Diego technical team present deep dives on the status of new capabilities, tech we’ve just sold to the Joint Cybersecurity Task Force.That deal was worth a hell of a lot of money.Bigger than our other deals put together.It’s an unfathomable amount, really.