Hope chasing a love and trust that Angelica wasn’t willing to give her?
Eva rustled even more. Hope furrowed her brow and glanced at the clock. It was time for them both to wake up for the day, far too early and with not enough sleep—at least for Hope. Eva moved around again, her eyes popping up as she stared directly at Hope. Smiling, Hope moved the blanket to the side as a silent invitation.
Eva shimmied out of the bed, took the two steps between beds and crawled under the blankets with Hope, sliding against her and half falling asleep again. Hope stayed right where she was, brushing her fingers up and down Eva’s arm and reveling in her warmth and in the fact that on a good morning, she was still willing to do this.
“What time is it?” Eva mumbled into Hope’s chest.
“Almost time to get up for the day, but we have a few minutes.” That was a lie. They didn’t. But Hope wasn’t ready to give this up, not right now anyway. She needed this connection and grounding, and she wanted to soak up as much of her little girl as she could while Eva was willing.
“Did you and Ange break up?”
Hope tensed. “What?”
“Because of yesterday.” Eva wasn’t budging from her spot. She wasn’t moving to look up at Hope, and she was barely even asking the question. The hesitation, the quietness in her tone, told Hope exactly what she needed to know.
Eva was scared.
And she didn’t want to be hurt.
“No, we didn’t break up.” Hope squeezed Eva a little tighter and dropped a kiss onto the top of her head.
“But she was crying,” Eva argued.
“She was, but not because of anything I did.” Hope kissed Eva’s head again. “She had something happen in her family and that’s what made her sad.”
“What happened?” Eva asked, a little more confidently than before.
Hope shook her head. “I’ll let her tell you that when she’s ready, because I really don’t think she is yet. Okay?”
“I guess,” Eva mumbled.
“But we haven’t broken up, I promise. I wouldn’t tell you we were dating just to turn around and tell you that we broke up.” Hope tickled Eva’s side a little.
But Eva didn’t really move or react. “But you and dad broke up. Was it because of Ange?”
Hope’s heart sank. Because it looked like it was because of Angelica from an outside perspective, and they all knew that. But the three of them also knew the cracks were there well before Hope had even met Angelica, before she’d fallen hopelessly in love with her. Hope breathed slowly, taking her time to find the right words to answer Eva, because this was important. And she didn’t want to mess it up—again.
“No, we didn’t get divorced because of Ange.” Hope brushed her fingers against Eva’s skin, using that touch to keep herself centered. “Dad and I had a lot of problems, and instead of working on them, we avoided them. And when we started working together on the same show, onthisshow, we couldn’t really avoid them any longer. And everything just kind of blew up.”
Hope paused. Eva really didn’t need any more details, that was for damn sure. And she needed to focus on emotions. And dissecting the emotions of a ten-year-old who didn’t quite have the words to explain what she was feeling, and Hope having no frame of reference to help her figure that out.
“I love your daddy, I promise you. Just because we stopped being married doesn’t mean that I love him or you any less. My love for him is just different now than it was before, and we show each other how we love each other differently.” That was absolutely true, and yesterday was a perfect example of that. “And I love Ange. Just because I love Ange doesn’t mean I love you or Dad less. Love isn’t finite like that. There isn’t a limited amount—” Hope changed her phrasing, remembering that she was talking to a kid and not herself “—it just grows and grows. No limits at all.”
“Okay,” Eva said, wriggling against Hope’s side. “But Ange was really sad yesterday.”
“She was, and she still is today, I’m sure. But she’s not sad because of me.”
They fell into a silence that lasted a few more minutes, so Hope assumed the conversation was over. She tickled Eva’s side to get her moving. “Come on, time to get up and dressed for the day.”
“Will you marry her?” Eva asked, pushing herself until she was sitting on the bed.
Hope stilled. “I… I don’t honestly know. It’s not something Ange and I have really talked about.”
“Because if you love someone, then you marry them. That’s what you and Daddy always tell me.”
“Right.” They had told her that. Because it was the fairytale that they perpetuated rather than the truth and reality of life. Hope was cursing herself for that one right now.
“Do you want to marry her?” Eva asked.
