“That’s not a long time.” Angelica swallowed hard, tightening her grasp in Hope’s hands as they entwined their fingers together.
“You’re right. In the scheme of things, it’s not a very long time.”
“It’s not just length of relationship though.” Angelica lifted her hand and cupped Hope’s cheek. “I have a history of being with subordinates, and that’s something that will come back to haunt me.”
“You weren’t looking for a relationship with me,” Hope whispered, leaning in to press a kiss to Angelica’s lips. “And I wasn’t looking for something to happen with you.” Another kiss. “But it did. And now we can decide if we’re going to be together or not be together.”
“We are. That’s not… that’s not what I’m questioning.” Angelica pulled away slightly. “I want to be with you, Hope.”
“Then I don’t understand.” Hope stepped away, moving back to where she had been on the opposite side of the kitchen counter, a good amount of space between them. As much as Angelica liked it, she equally hated it. She already missed that closeness.
Angelica paused, gathering herself. “I have my reservations about what a relationship with you means. It’s not that I don’twant to be in a relationship with you, but I’m a middle-aged woman, and you’re a single mom of a brilliant kid. You can’t tell me that doesn’t come with complications. I don’t exactly want to uproot my life for you.”
“I’m not asking you to.” Hope frowned. “And you’re not asking me to. All I’m asking is that I can tell my daughter and my friends that you’re my girlfriend.”
Angelica’s stomach twisted sharply. “And I’m not ready for that.”
“Well, why the hell not?” Hope’s voice rang through the suddenly quiet kitchen.
There was the temper that Angelica knew existed. And in all fairness, she understood why Hope was leaning into it now. But she didn’t want to start this conversation a week before they were supposed to leave to film. She didn’t want to be at odds before then.
“I’ve always put my career first, Hope. You have to understand that.” Angelica reached for Hope’s hand. “And I’m not unwilling to put you first, but I need to know what’s going to happen to my career—and yours—when that shift happens.”
“Can you speak plainly? For once.” Hope gave her a hard stare.
“It’s Josef, in part.”
“He’s been silent.”
“I know, but with the show starting up again, I’m sure he’s going to do something.” Angelica tensed. “I don’t think he’d throw out that threat lightly, Hope. He’s been waiting for the right moment, and that’ll be now, right when we start to blow up press, and right when we start filming. He’s not stupid. He knows our filming schedule. He knows exactly what he’s doing.”
“Oh, Angel.” Hope sighed. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Angelica’s shoulders and pulled her in for a tight hug. “You can’t stop your life because of Josef.”
“But I can, and I have.” Angelica buried her face in Hope’s shoulders. “With Leanne.”
She felt Hope’s grip on her relax slightly. “Is that what you meant by history?”
“That, and because she was my employee. If you think that won’t come out when our relationship comes out, then you have another thing coming. People are going to dig into our pasts?—”
“They already are,” Hope murmured, dropping a kiss into Angelica’s hair. “Welcome to fame.”
Angelica closed her eyes, gripping her arms around Hope’s back tightly. “I’m just not ready.”
“Then we wait. But Angel, I need an answer on this soon. I’m not going to keep this secret forever.”
Biting her lip, Angelica nodded. She understood that. But it wasn’t everything they needed to talk about either. This was just the low hanging fruit. “So when we’re on set, we won’t act like a couple.”
“As Cadence would say, you’ll need to cut the flirting to a minimum.” Hope kissed her head again.
Angelica smiled at that. She pulled back, her lips still curled upward. “Same to you.”
Hope drew in a breath, but she didn’t smile. Instead, she turned back toward the food on the counter and snagged Angelica’s fork, handing it over. “I suppose that means separate rooms for the entire trip.”
“It wouldn’t be any different than when we’re home,” Angelica added, taking the fork from her.
Hope frowned then, but she said nothing as she took her own fork and slid another bite between her lips. Angelica hesitated, but she started to eat as well, at least the salmon fillet. The other dish didn’t exactly look appetizing. Well, none of it did right now.
“You’re making the assumption I like the arrangement we currently have.” Hope popped another bite between her lips. “Because I don’t. I’d prefer you to spend the night here. I’d prefer to be able to be open about the fact that we’re in love with each other. I’d like to stop keeping secrets and move forward with a relationship.”
