“Then go sleep it off. I’ll see you in the morning.” He firmly pushes me toward the house, and I stumble up the steps. I stop at the door, turn around, and realize that Ethan is still standing next to the car, waiting for me to go inside.
I nod to him one last time and enter the hallway. Only after the door closes behind me and the warmth of the house envelops me do I realize how cold I actually am.
Zoe appears at the top of the landing, still wearing her dress, but she’s gotten rid of the high heels.
“Come up,” she says, and I do as she asks.
I climb the stairs slowly and carefully, then almost trip on the top step. I’m lucky that I don’t fall backward. I know the Youngs’ house well. Nothing has changed in the last year. The wall is still covered with family photos, pictures of Zoe and Caleb at all ages. The first room on the right is Caleb’s, the second is Zoe’s. On the left is Ceara’s office, and then the large bathroom.
I hear the sound of the shower and pause uncertainly until Zoe sticks her head through the bathroom door. Her eyes are full of warmth, and she’s got a tiny smile on her face.
“What took you so long? Come on in—I’m cold.” She holds out a hand to me, and I take it. Her skin is freezing to the touch, and my guilty conscience hits me like a blow. She gave me my jacket back.
Steam wafts through the bathroom, and it’s so warm I shiver.
Zoe strips off the dress in one fluid motion. It cascades to the floor, and she kicks it aside, takes off her panties, and then stands in front of me, completely naked. She’s beautiful, and all at once, my throat tightens. My heart beats out of rhythm, and I wish I could blame it on the alcohol, but I know better. It’s because of her.
It’s always been because of her.
Zoe slips the jacket off my shoulders before loosening my tie and then slowly unbuttoning my shirt.
“I can do it,” I say in a voice so hoarse it can’t possibly be mine.
“I know.”
She gives me a look that’s soft and warm, and something inside me clenches painfully. She stands on her toes and kisses me lightly on the cheek. I feel her breasts against my chest, and my skin rises in goose bumps.
She undoes my belt buckle and then my pants, pushing them down my legs along with my underwear. “You can take off your own socks,” she says with a smile, pointing at my feet.
I return her smile for a second, and then I remember what a catastrophic evening it’s been, and my smile fades. But I take off my socks anyway and let Zoe push me under the shower. The water is so hot it feels like it came straight from hell.
I close my eyes and let the stream hit my body until I feel her arms go around my waist, and Zoe lays her head against my chest. Blinking, I open my eyes again, see her tangled red hair falling down her back, and then look into her eyes as she tilts her face up to me.
“Just hold tight, okay? Only for a few minutes.”
I want to argue, but I’m too weak. I don’t say a word; I just close my eyes again as I let her hold me. I try to wash Dad’s words out of my head. I try not to think about Sam. Because thinking about Sam today feels like inhaling broken glass.
At some point, Zoe turns off the water, dries us both off, and guides me out of the bathroom to her room. She disappears for a moment before returning with sweats and a hoodie that I assume belong to Caleb.
We dress silently, and then she climbs into bed and reaches out to me expectantly. I’m tired, utterly exhausted, and angry, and at the same time, I feel completely empty. I do as she suggests and crawl under the blankets, falling asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.
Chapter 41
Zoe
I went on some dates last year, several, as part of my therapy. But every time, I could only think that it didn’t feel right.
—Zoe
I don’t know if it’s a noise or a feeling that shakes me out of sleep, or just the sense that something is missing. It takes a minute for me to reorient myself and remember that I’m in my room in my parents’ house and not in the dorm. And then there’s another moment until I notice the emptiness beside me. Jase, who fell asleep exhausted next to me, is gone. I sit up with a start, suddenly wide awake. My heart races, and I panic. He’s gone. Where the hell did he go?
My hands shake as I fumble for my phone on my bedside table, only to realize it’s not there. I didn’t bring a purse when we went to the party, and I gave my phone to my mom. It’s probably still in her pocket. Damn it!
It’s still dark; he can’t have been gone for long. Hopefully. Maybe he went back to school, or... my stomach cramps. I jump out of bed and am about to go check if my parents are home when I notice a light shining through the window of my room. I didn’tclose the curtains properly, which normally isn’t a problem until the sun rises. My window looks out over the garden, which is usually completely dark at night.
But not tonight. I look out the window, and my heart leaps as I see a light in my treehouse. Someone turned on the fairy lights. There’s only one person it could be.
I don’t waste time wondering; I just grab the woolen blanket from the foot of my bed and hurry downstairs. A pair of Mom’s boots sits by the back door, and I slip into them and leave the house. I walk through the frost-covered grass, shivering. The rungs of the ladder feel cold and damp under my fingers as I climb up.
