“Jase,” I whisper against his lips. “Why are you so angry?”
He pulls back to look at me. Anger is still flickering in his eyes. But beneath it, I can see his pain. “Please...” He swallows hard, “Please, Pixie, I can’t talk about it right now.”
“Okay.” I nod, and he kisses me again, hard and deep. I taste his salty sweat on my tongue, and I realize that this is not the time for questions and secrets. Jase doesn’t want to talk, and to be honest, I don’t want to talk now either.
His hands slide under my jacket, pushing it off my shoulders. He finds the zipper of my dress, and a moment later, the fabric parts and slides down my chest to my waist. I’m only wearing a thin lace bra, and Jase hesitates for a second to make sure I’m okay with it. I want him, here and now. My body is begging for more. He pulls the thin straps down my arms. My eyelids close as his lips find my nipple, and then his tongue. A whimper escapes me, and I thrust my hips toward him. Jase’s hands roam over my body and cup my butt. He lifts me up, and I instinctively wrap my legs around his hips. I can feel the throbbing of his own desire against my center, and I wish the thin fabric of my tights and underwear would just melt into thin air.
Jase backs away a little, and I feel his breath on my cheek. Goose bumps.
“I hate them,” he says. “Mom, Dad, Lia, Sam. Everyone but you.” His husky voice sends a shiver down my back.
“You can hate me. It’s okay if you hate me a little bit.”
He smiles grimly. “No, it’s not.”
“Yes, it is. Today you’re allowed to for a moment. Really. I’m strong—you said it yourself. Let me catch you. Let it out. Please.” I pull him close, and our lips collide. He groans and presses himself against me. I writhe under his touch until he lets go again, this time to take off his leggings and help me out of my clothes.
Then he’s with me again, lifting me up and pressing me against the wall between the windows. The bricks feel cold against my naked skin, but the cold only intensifies the heat inside me. My body thrums; my skin glows. I scratch Jase’s back with my fingernails, and he moans desperately into my mouth.
“Hate me,” I breathe. I guess I’m losing my mind. But that’s exactly what I want to do right now.
Jase loses control at my words. I can feel it. A tremor runs through his body; the muscles in his back tense. His hand slides between us, and then he enters me with a powerful thrust. I whimper again, and my back rubs against the cold, rough bricks every time Jase thrusts into me.
It’s crazy and exciting at the same time, the slight pain on my skin, and the desire flooding my body. Strangely, it feels incredibly good. He’s angry, and I absorb his anger, again and again and again, with every furious thrust, and each time his fingers touch my skin.
And then... he stops. He just stops. My whole body is throbbing in protest, because I need more. More of him. More of this.
“What—” I say, stopping as Jase backs away from me, panting, and my legs slide off his hips. I feel the wooden floor under my bare feet, cool and smooth, and I reel in confusion as Jase rests his forehead against mine.
“Fuck! I... can’t. I can’t hate you,” he murmurs, his lips caressing mine. They trace my jawline, and I forget that I want to reply.“You’re the only one I can’t hate.” He backs away a little, turning me toward the mirror until I can see our reflections, with red cheeks and shining eyes. “You’re the only one that gives my life any kind of sense.” He slides behind me, tall and warm, until his chest touches my back. He still has one arm around my waist, and the other hand rests on my thigh, tracing lazy circles on my naked skin. My body reacts to his touch with a hot tingle, and my heart reacts to his gaze, his words.
Longing. Fierce. In love.
“Why do you make so much sense?” He kisses my neck, biting gently, just enough to make me whimper again. My head tips back. I close my eyes and press up against him, so close that I can feel his erection on my bottom. At the same time, I push my hips forward so his hand can slide deeper.
“Because you do,” I reply hoarsely. I moan as his thumb circles the center of my desire, which almost hurts with longing, and I see stars.
“Open your eyes,” he says, and I do, because I would do anything he tells me right now. “Look at yourself.”
I blink until my vision clears. Until I can see us. But I can’t look at myself. I can only see him. Jase, who’s standing behind me, big and strong and beautiful. He commands the entire room with his dark gaze and the haze of anger that still surrounds him.
“Look at yourself,” he repeats, more urgently this time. He increases the pressure between my legs, and I can’t help it. I sigh yearningly, rub myself against his hand, and watch his eyes seeking mine. The girl looking back at me from the mirror is obviously me, but she seems strangely unfamiliar. And at the same time, I know her too well.
Red cheeks and swollen lips. Gleaming eyes, full of lust.
“Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me?”
I shake my head, and finally, he slides a finger inside me. My muscles tighten around it of their own accord, my eyelids flutter, wanting to close again, but Jase’s grip on my waist tightens.
“When I’m with you, I can forget all the shit for a few minutes. When I’m with you, I feel so damn alive that it scares me sometimes.” His mouth moves over my neck, and my lips pulse with desire. I want to kiss him, taste him, but I don’t get a chance to turn and face him. His grip on my waist is too tight. He wants me to watch what he’s doing to me. And I want that too. The realization hits me hard. I want it desperately.
I move, writhing my hips, moaning as his finger slides out and back in hard. The girl in the mirror arches her back, pushing up against his hand. I tangle my fingers in his hair, tugging at the blond strands. Jase smiles. His thumb hits the place I want it to be again, where Ineedit to be. My whole body thrums with desire. He thrusts into me again. Faster, harder, more urgently. He presses me so close to his body now that there’s no escaping.
I’m in free fall, all because of him. I come with a stifled cry, watching myself, and see how something in my gaze snaps.
Jase holds me tight as the muscles inside me contract again and again. My heart is racing, and my body feels too small to contain everything I’m feeling right now. For what he’s made me feel.
He doesn’t let go of me even when I slowly come to rest. He holds me very close and kisses my temple. I turn to him, because we’re not finished yet. I’m intoxicated by him, and I want him to feel like I do right now. That’s why I drop to my knees in front of him.
