“Are they throwing you out?” she asks when I don’t answer. Her voice sounds worried.
I shake my head. “Not yet.”
She breathes a sigh of relief. “What happened then?”
I shake my head again. I can’t tell her what she wants to know.
“Is something going on with you and Zoe?”
I laugh without amusement. I open my mouth and close it again, because I don’t have the damn words. I can’t tell her what Zoe told me. It would be wrong and unfair. After all, it’s not my story, even though somehow, I’m a part of it. The whole thing is just so fucked up! What the hell am I supposed to do now?
I don’t answer and reach for the weights again. But Skye is faster than me. She grabs my wrists and firmly pushes me back. The fact that she manages to do it so easily should probably make me think twice, but I don’t want to think at all anymore.
“Okay, fine. You don’t have to talk to me. But you’d better stop now, or I’ll go tell Francesca, or even go straight to Pearson, and let them know you’re being irresponsible.”
I narrow my eyes at her. “You’d really rat me out?”
“To keep you from destroying yourself? Absolutely.” She smiles wanly.
“You’re not my sister. You don’t have to take care of me,” I say. I’m acting like an asshole, and I hate it, but I can’t stop. I shut down and lash out because I can’t deal with the chaos in my head and in my fucking heart. Someone has to tell me what to do, because I really don’t know.
You know what you have to do.
I flinch. Sam’s voice is in my head. It’s been weeks since the last time he chimed in.
You know where you want to go and who you need to see.
“Yeah, but somebody’s got to do it,” Skye retorts, unmoved, and it takes me a second to realize that she’s reacting to my words, not those of the voice in my head. “You seem like you’re headed directly for self-destruction, so sorry if I’m worried.”
“You don’t have to be.”
“Someone has to.”
I reach for my towel and wipe the sweat off my face. “Do what you want. I can’t stop you.”
“No, you can’t.” She punches my shoulder and gives me an encouraging smile. “If you ever do want to talk... I’m here, okay?”
I nod, even though we both realize that’s not going to happen. There are only two people I want to talk to, and neither one of them is an option.
Not Zoe, not Caleb.
Why not?
Because I don’t have a fucking clue what to say.
Chapter 32
Zoe
No secret in the world means a thing unless there’s someone who believes it. Thank you for believing me.
—Zoe
Hot water streams down on my shoulders as I lean against the cold tiles with my eyes closed. Tears run down my face, stinging my eyes.
Jase knows.
He knows.
