He groans. “Like you care.”
“But I do,” I say honestly.
“Oh, fuck.” He tugs at his hair. “If you really want to know, I’m trying to get a scholarship, and my performance in this course plays an important role in it. Are you happy?”
I immediately have a thousand questions—mostly, why? Jase is the last person who needs a scholarship. His parents are rich. So why on earth would he apply for one?
“Then why didn’t you trade partners?” I ask for the second time in a few hours. If he’s trying to get a scholarship, I understand even less why he wouldn’t want Charlotte as a partner.
“I already told you that. Because Charlotte is Charlotte,” he growls. “So what’s your answer? Yes or no? It’s your call, Pixie.” His voice softens as he says my nickname. He probably doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. But I can hear it, and a warm feeling spreads through me, because he sounds just like he used to.
I hesitate. More practice means more touching. More touching means more panic. But above all, it means more Jase. I don’t know if I can do that—spend more time with him, let him get close to me. Get closer to him again. But I don’t really have a choice, do I?
Not unless I want to lose my place here because I’m incapable of solving my problems. I take a step back and look at him. His gaze is unfathomable, his eyes burning into mine, and suddenly I find it hard to breathe. I wish I could read his mind. My skin starts to tingle again, but this time it’s not panic. It’s just the way he looks at me.
Yes or no? It’s your call, Pixie.
I make up my mind. “Yes.”
Before
Jase
One year earlier
June25, 6:32 PM
“Come on, Caleb; it’s about time. This is your night! You’re not seriously going to college holding on to the V-card, are you?” Nick throws one of the sofa pillows at him, but Caleb wasn’t quarterback at Westview High for nothing. He neatly catches the offending object and spikes it back hard.
“Shut up, Nick.”
But Nick doesn’t shut up. He never does. “I’ve got a feeling tonight’s your night. Don’t argue with me. Adaline has had the hots for you for ages. She’s spending the summer in Europe and then going to college in Rhode Island. It’s your last chance!”
Caleb looks like he needs help. His cheeks are bright red.
“Nick, leave him alone. He can decide for himself.” I toss my own pillow and hit Nick in the head, but I’m not really focused on what I’m doing. I’ve mulled over the conversation with my parents a thousand times, even though it’s the last thing I want to think about. Especially today. This should be a good day. After all, I’m graduating. So far, though, it sucks.
Nick swears, and Reed and Tristan turn away from the TV forthe first time in an hour and laugh at him before concentrating on the screen again. They’re playing some game; I don’t know exactly what it is. I’ve never been into gaming.
“Yeah, sure.” Nick rolls his eyes but isn’t ready to give up. “Do you really want to go to college as an eighteen-year-old virgin? Even our little dancer here got himself laid.” He grins at me, and I grit my teeth.
Yeah, the dancer got himself laid and wishes he hadn’t.
Nick’s actually a good guy, and he’s smart, but unfortunately, he’s about as sensitive as a block of wood. He’s never able to read the room or figure out when he should just shut up.
“That’s enough, Nicky.” Reed punches Nick’s shoulder without looking, and Nick, perched on the back of the sofa, falls over backward with a shout of protest.
“Fuck you, Reed.”
“No, thanks. Tammy will probably take care of that today.” Reed grins, and his smile gets wider as Tristan groans and drops the game controller onto the coffee table.
“Tammy desperately needs better taste.” The contemptuous voice makes us all jump at the same time. Zoe is leaning in the doorframe, her ankles crossed casually, a white garment bag hanging over her arm. I can’t help staring at her long legs and tight shorts. Her skin has taken on a golden glow in the last few weeks. I want to reach out and touch her. It’s not the first time I’ve wondered if her skin is as soft as it looks and how her slender muscles would feel under my fingers. My mouth goes dry, and my cheeks turn hot. Fuck. Not good. Not good at all.
“Tammy’s taste is excellent.” Reed gets up and pushes past Zoe, probably to go to the bathroom. As he passes her, he mussesher red hair, and somehow it bothers me that it’s so easy for him to touch her. For all of them. I’m the only one who doesn’t manage to greet her with a hug, mostly because my body goes crazy every time I do.
I know why it’s happening. It’s because of her secrets. The way she gazes at me with those hazel eyes. And her smile. That smile that makes me forget that she’s my best friend’s little sister and that what I feel for her is wrong, because I don’t talk to Caleb about it.
“Sometimes I forget why I like you. Leave my hair alone,” Zoe retorts, giving Reed a dirty look.
