“It’s nice that you see that. But it doesn’t change anything.”
“What do we have to do to make it change something?” Mom holds out her hand to me, but I evade her.
“Shit, Mom! Did you happen to notice that you came here to apologize, and neither of you has actually said you’re sorry? You want to bring our family back together... but I have no clue why. Honestly.”
My parents exchange stricken looks.
“We did everything wrong, didn’t we?” Mom’s shoulders slump. “We should never have let you believe that—” she breaks off, unable to get the words out.
“But you did.”
“I’m sorry.” She reaches her hand out to me again, and I avoid it again. Maybe her words should make me feel something, but all I feel is emptiness. A single apology can’t undo the last five years.
An uncomfortable silence grows between us. They’re waiting for a reply, and I’m waiting for... something more. So I can figure out what I’m supposed to do now.
Dad clears his throat and changes the subject. “That girl you were at the party with. That was Zoe Young, wasn’t it?”
I stiffen. Is he fucking serious? He wants to talk about Zoe right now? My parents are the last people I expected to be interested in the gossip about Zoe and Reed.
“That’s none of your business.”
Dad’s brow creases in confusion, and then it smooths as he understands. “I’m not talking about what happened to her,” he says. “It’s about what she said that evening. That I’m the one who’s disappointing you.”
I tense, and my heart skips a beat again. “And?” I say, because my mind is suddenly blank.
“She was right.”
“She usually is.”
“I’d like... How can we... What can we do?” All at once, Dad seems terrifyingly helpless. I’ve never seen him like this.
Part of me wants to send them away and never speak to them again. They’re my parents, but they haven’t acted like it in years. It’s not my job to save our crappy relationship just because we have the same genes. But another part of me hesitates.
“You should go now,” I finally say.
Mom’s eyes go wide, and she’s about to protest, but I beat her to it.
“I need time to think.” A lot of time. “I’ll get in touch with you when I’m ready.”
The two of them exchange a glance. It’s clear that Mom would rather do anything but leave, and Dad doesn’t seem entirely thrilled by the idea either.
But for the first time, my parents respect my decision. They leave.
Chapter 55
Zoe
I hate therapy. Actually, that’s not true. I hate that there’s a reason I need it. No, I hate the fact that I need therapy forthisreason. And Ireallyneed it.
—Zoe
It feels strange to be at home again. Especially without Jase. The last two days felt like a time-out. An involuntary one, sure, but still just a break. School didn’t matter, and neither did ballet. Nothing in the outside world mattered.
It was just him and me. Days in bed and on the sofa. Whispered secrets and tears.
Today, it’s different. He’s back at school, and I can’t stop thinking about how much I want to be back with him. Caleb isn’t here, and Dad had to go to work, so I’m alone with Mom. The more time that passes, the more restless I become. I don’t have anything to do.
My legs are twitchy. Everything is twitchy. I need to move. I need to dance. I want to dance. But I can’t just go back to school. Charlotte is there, and the thought of seeing her again makes my stomach turn. I don’t know what will happen to her. I don’t know ifanythingwill happen.
