It’s his fault that my life shattered into a million little pieces that are impossible to put back together again the way they were.
Mom and Dad bring me home, even though the doctor is against it—I can at least understand that much. I’m glad they don’t leave me in the hospital. I hate hospitals. They’re so dismal. People die. Sure, some are saved too. But not me.
I just want to go home.
As Mom helps me out of the car, my legs collapse. Dad lifts me and carries me into the house and upstairs to my room. He puts me in my bed and sits down next to me, stroking my hair and saying something that I only perceive as a muffled murmur. I pull the covers up over my head and hide from the world.
The knowledge of what happened is devouring me.
The ignorance was a blessing; I get that now. It protected me from this abyss and kept me from falling. Deeper, deeper, deeper.
There’s no bottom. Only falling.
Dad leaves, and Mom stays with me. She’s crying. I can hear her, even though she’s making a great effort not to make a sound. But she’s breathing differently, and that gives it away.
I don’t cry. I can’t. I don’t have any tears left.
After a while, Mom lets go of my hand and stands up, but the mattress sinks again immediately. Another hand slides under the covers and finds mine.
Caleb.
“Hey.” His voice is shaking.
I flip back the covers and look up at him. His eyes are wet. His hair is a mess, and he’s pale.
“Are you okay?” I ask so softly that I can hardly hear myself. But I can’t manage to make my voice any louder.
Caleb lets out a desperate laugh. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”
“We both know the answer to that question anyway.”
He strokes my hair gently. “What can I do to make you feel better?”
I open my mouth, about to say that there’s nothing he can do, but then it occurs to me that’s not true. “Tell Jase what happened.”
“Zoe—” He stops and bites his lower lip, and then tears run down his face. If I weren’t already completely shattered, another part of me would break now. Caleb clears his throat and stands up. “Okay. I’ll let Jase know.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, then pull the blanket back over my head and close my eyes.
Chapter 50
Jase
Last year, I came to your house a few times, but I couldn’t bring myself to knock because I was afraid that you all would send me away.
—Jase
Where is she?
Where the hell is she?
Adrenaline pumps through my veins. Mae doesn’t know where Zoe is. No one does. Katie thinks the last time she saw her was when she sent her to get something from the prop room, but she wasn’t there. She’s not in her room either. Or in the practice studios.
Fuck, Zoe has been missing for hours. She’s not answering her phone. Something must have happened or she never would have disappeared without a word. She would have told me.
My heart is racing on the way to my room, as I pull my phone out of my pocket to try calling her again.
“Jase.” The familiar voice makes me look up. Fuck, what is Caleb doing here? And why does he look like he wants to burn the whole world to the ground?
