“No,” he answers quickly. “She’s safe with my brother. My job is to make sure you're safe, too.”
Relief washes over me, but it’s short-lived as even more mystery arises. “You said you do freelance—”
“Don’t ask questions you won’t like the answers to, Sunshine. It isn't going to do anything but worry you more.”
I throw my hands up, growing agitated with this little game he seems to think he’s running. “How can you expect me not to ask questions? What the fuck just happened, Rowan?”
His jaw works as he glances in the mirror. “This isn't my story to tell. Loxley wants to sit you down and talk about everything.”
I stare at him for a moment, still in disbelief that he won’t tell me anything. “You’re seriously going to make me wait for answers?”
“You just went into shock over us being chased, Addison. You need to be in the right headspace for this. Can you trustthat I’ll get you to Columbus safely?” His eyes flicker to mine, something profound there. Like he’s itching to know if I can trust him.
Do I trust him?
Hell no, is my immediate response. I don't trust easily and haven't for a long time. But if something this big is happening, and he's all I’ve got, then I have to give him something. He’s in control of this situation.
With the realization that Rowan is literally holding my life in the palm of his hands, I lean forward and hook my phone up to the Bluetooth before turning on one of my favorite playlists. Music fills the cab as I sink back and stare out the window. “That coffee was ass.”
Chapter Eight
Rowan
I’m trying like hell to respect Loxley’s wishes. I really am, but this would be so much easier if I could tell Addison everything. It may be too much for her right now, but I hate her anger. She’s stewing across from me, mumbling along to the lyrics of some new pop song that's been circling.
I’m already attached to the steady conversation that seems to flow between us, and the silence iskillingme.
It’s never been a problem before. I do mostly everything with methodical stillness. I’ve learned to adapt and thrive in the peace that’s been forced upon me in this profession.
Which is why her cold shoulderirksme so badly. I shouldn't want her voice filling the space between us. I shouldn't want to grab her and shake her damn shoulders just to get her to talk to me. I shouldn't still be thinking of how small and vulnerable she felt while shaking in my arms, or the way she clung to me like I was a lifeline and sheneededme to ground her.
“You never answered my question,” I say, breaking the tension.
She’s quiet for a moment, and I don't think she's going to answer me until she lets out a little sigh. “My dad and I liked to drink coffee early in the morning before he left for work. Well, I would drink chocolate milk, and he would drink coffee that was too strong to be considered normal.”
Her lips twitch at the memory, and I release the breath I was holding. Anything is better than her shutting me out.
“From what I can remember, we liked to go hiking. He took me to Montana a few times when we visited my uncleand cousin. My mom never went with us because she hated the outdoors, and that's all we did while we were there. We would fish, hike, and sleep under the stars. Uncle Ford always asked about my mom, but Dad would shut him down so quickly that it made my head spin. Eventually, we stopped going. I'm still not sure what happened, but I haven't seen them since then. It’s been years now.” She gives a weak laugh that teeters on bitterness. “They probably wouldn't even remember what I look like.”
My chest pangs at the somber note in her tone. “Do you ever think about reaching out?”
She stares out at the passing scenery, trapped in a daydream, I only get the privilege of seeing from the outside. “Sometimes. I tried a few years back, but my cousin Logan must have changed his number.”
I take her in, the turn of her body as she faces the window instead of me, the droop of exhaustion weighing her shoulders down, and the distant, faraway look in her eyes. Addison is strong, but she isn't invincible. Again, all I can think of is how fragile she felt in my arms. I can still feel her trembling as if the buzz of the electricity under her skin sent bolts straight to mine. Like we shared her fear for a small moment.
My whole life has been pain and suffering and how I can take that away from my siblings. I’ve sacrificed everything to keep them well-adjusted and on a clear path. Meanwhile, I was left in the dust. Once I saw them mature and begin their own lives, it left me feeling hollow. I had dedicated years to them without thought of what my future would hold.
For the first time in a very long time, I’m allowing myself to let go. Atlas and Thalia don’t need me anymore, but there is someone else who may—someone I don’t mind being an anchor for.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” I say softly. “If you ever think about going to Montana and would like some company, I’m always free.”
She turns toward me, curiosity on her features. “You would go to Montana with me?”
In a heartbeat.
“Of course.”
She stares at me for a moment. “You don’t even know me, Rowan. I could be a serial killer.”
