I don’t know what to say or how to make this better for her. I won’t ask her to stay because this is her dream, but I also can’t leave right now when we have the Evergreen deal on the table. And I’ve been fucking stupid about doing everything around the ranch myself, so it’s not like I can delegate it to Wyatt or Kade, and Tanner won’t do it because dealing with these kinds of things isn’t in his wheelhouse.
Panic seizes in my chest, the pain almost unbearable. I dig my nails into my palm, just to feel it somewhere else. The last thing Avery needs is me losing my mind over this.
Clearing my throat, I move to the couch and take a seat on the coffee table in front of Avery. She’s got her knees tucked against her chest and her arms wrapped around them, her shoes discarded on the floor. She looks at me, her eyes red and watery.
I reach out and touch her, the contact of her bare skin on mine grounding me. “I had plans for us tonight,” I say, more for something to fill the loaded silence. “Autumn set up some candles on the rooftop, and I was going to ask you if you wanted to make this a more long-term thing.” I chuckle, not because it’s funny, but because this couldn’t be further from what I had planned.
“I really ruined the night, huh?”
Forcing my body to relax, I shake my head. “You didn’t do anything wrong. None of this is on you, you know that, right?” Sniffing, Avery nods, and I continue, “Good. I wanted to talk to you and, if it was what you wanted, figure out how you being on the road and me being here could work. I have the Evergreen deal to finish, but it shouldn’t be more than a month, and that would give me time to delegate things to Wyatt and Kade before I joined you in Nashville.”
She doesn’t speak, just stares, her eyes wide and blinking. I’m suddenly nervous that I’ve overstepped and I’m putting too much pressure on her to label whatever this is. In an effort to give her a way out, I rush, “But if you don’t want that, it’s fine. We’ll call it quits now.”
God help me, I don’t mean that.
Avery unfurls herself and sits forward on the edge of the couch, her knees slotting between mine. “I don’t know when I’ll be able to come back.”
I swallow around the lump in my throat, rolling my lips together as I look out of the window at the star-studded night sky.
“But I’d really like it if you’d come out and see me as often as you can.” Her hand settles on my thigh, and I look down at it before meeting her gaze. “I can’t ask you to leave Coldwater or the ranch for as long as I’ll be on tour, Gray. But I also don’t want to throw us away because of two thousand miles.”
Elation floods my body, and I reach out, cupping her face in my hands. “Then we take it day by day.”
“Day by day,” she whispers.
I close the distance between us, capturing her lips with mine and savoring what could be the last kiss I’ll have until I see her again. It’s slow and languid, like we’re mapping out each other’s mouths and committing them to memory, ready for the long nights apart that we both know are coming.
When we finally part, Avery presses her fingers to her mouth, her eyes hazy as she looks at me. I could get lost in her until it was time for her to go, but I’m going to force myself to leave.
Soon.
Just not this second. For now, I’m going to grab the dessert out of the refrigerator and cuddle with my girl before I help her pack.
I just need to remember that this isn’t the end of us; it’s just the beginning.
32
AVERY
I stand in the doorway of my apartment, a duffel bag thrown over one shoulder and my guitar case digging into the other. My keys feel heavier than they should in my palm, as though they’re carrying the weight of this decision. If I leave now, who knows when I’ll be back.
Last night, when Grayson suggested he come on tour with me, I was shocked, amazed, and in awe of him all at the same time. He’s willing to step back from his responsibilities at the ranch to follow me as I return to the place I now realize was draining my soul. I don’t even think I want this anymore. Everything I’ve worked for, all the sacrifices I’ve made over the years, haven’t made me happy. It only took a few weeks in Coldwater for me to see that.
I miss Gray already, even though it’s been less than twelve hours since he kissed me goodnight and headed home. After loading me up with the most delicious homemade apple pie that I know Autumn would have had a hand in making and quietly watching me pack, he left with a promise to fly out and see me in a week. I don’t know how I’ll go that long without feeling his presence, but I’m sure Penelope will keep me busy.
Pulling the door to my apartment closed, I tense when the entry door opens at the bottom of the stairs. There’s only one person that could be, and I’m not sure I have the patience for her today. I close my eyes for a moment of respite before sliding my key into the lock one last time and resting my palm against the wood, lingering just a moment longer.
Footsteps approach, and the telltale sound of Penelope’s heels clicking on the bare wood grates on my nerves.
“Good. You’re ready. The plane leaves in an hour and a half,” she states, her tone clipped and uncaring as usual.
I bob my head, swallowing down my frustration as I follow Penelope out of the building. It all feels like too much, like I haven’t been able to process everything that’s happened in the last twelve hours properly. I haven’t even had a chance to say goodbye to the people who welcomed me back with open arms.
Removing the key to the apartment from the ring, I slide it into an envelope I found. Inside is a note for Autumn, apologizing for leaving on such short notice, and a check to cover the next six months’ rent.
I slide the envelope through the letterbox on the front door of the coffee shop, staring longingly into the darkened space. As much as I would have loved to say goodbye and apologize in person, I haven’t had time to text or call anyone aside from my parents. They reassured me that they’d see my opening night in Nashville and that I could make up for the lack of goodbye with plenty of hugs then.
The car ride to the private airport is uneventful. Penelope is on the phone, letting people know that I’ll be at the studio in a few hours, and I stare out of the window, watching Coldwater disappear along with the mountains.
