Gracie’s eyes widen. “But you’ve been working toward this your whole life. You left to follow this dream.”
“I know.” My voice is barely a whisper, and as shame and regret coat me, I drop my gaze, unable to look them in the eyes. “I thought it would make me happy. At first, I thought the record deal would, then it was getting the radio plays, before booking the tour. But none of them made an inkling of a difference. It’s like a piece of me has been withering away ever since I left, and it’s only now flourishing again because I’m back.”
Autumn sets down her wine glass, before moving to sit next to me on the couch and pulling me into her side. “Ave, are you sure this is what you want? We’ll wholeheartedly support you no matter what, but we know how much you wanted this in the first place.”
I rest my head on her shoulder, drawing on their strength to finally tell my truth. “I don’t know. This is the thing. Every day, I go back and forth on whether it’s the right thing to do. If I give up, then none of it was worth it.”
“It was,” Gracie says, her voice firm and brokering no argument. “All you have to do is look at the lives you’ve touched to know that. It’s okay to start over, but I think if you’re not sure, don’t turn your back on it just yet.”
Maybe they’re right. It’s a big decision to make and not one to be made lightly, but I can’t help but feel that it might be the right one.
It feels good to get this off my chest, but until I know for certain what I want to do, it’s not fair to bring Grayson into this.
28
GRAYSON
I’ve been forced into the office today, under the guise of having things to do that need my approval, but all I’ve done is stare at my emails for the last hour, wishing I was out in the pastures doing something with my hands. Or better yet, at home with Avery.
It’s quiet, with just the gentle hum of the air conditioner and the occasional tap of someone’s keyboard somewhere on the floor. Not much of the ranch’s business is done here; we’re not office people. At least I’m not.
Resigning myself to at least getting through my emails, I click into one from Bob Russell. He owns one of the ranches we’ve partnered with in Texas. I open the attached spreadsheet, scanning my eyes over the quarterly projections and making notes for Reed to double check.
When that email is done, I open the next, sighing heavily. This one is about the equipment leasing program we set up in the spring.
“That’s a mighty loud sigh for a man that runs the show.”
I look up and find Avery leaning against the doorjamb, a teasing smile on her face.
“Hey,” I say, sitting back in my chair as my eyes roam over her from head to toe and the curves that her soft gray thigh-length dress clings to. “You lost, sunshine?”
She laughs, stepping inside and rounding my desk to sit on the edge. “Nope. I just missed you.”
Now that she’s not on the other side of the room, I see the tension in her features. There’s something she’s not telling me. I’ve felt it ever since the day in the grocery store, but I haven’t wanted to push her.
“You okay?” I ask, smoothing my hands up her thighs.
Her smile falters for a second before it’s back in place. “Yeah, everything’s great.”
I search her face, weighing up if it’s a good idea to try and get her to open up to me.
“I’ve known you a real long time, Ave. I can tell when something’s bothering you.” She tenses but doesn’t deny it. “You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to, but I just need you to know that you can, okay?”
She looks away, staring out of the floor-to-ceiling window at the mountains. “I don’t want it to ruin what we’re doing.” Her voice is small, a hint of fear and a whole load of tension following the words.
An emotion I can’t quite pinpoint flairs in my chest; it’s a mix of pain and panic. “Are you leaving soon?” I ask, keeping my tone neutral.
She nods, the action sad, like she doesn’t want it to be true.
We both knew this was coming. I just thought I’d have time to sort things out so I can present her with my plan. The one that means I don’t lose her again. “When?”
“In a little over a week.”
I breathe a sigh of relief. That’s okay. I still have time. Things can be put in motion.
Standing, I cup her face in my hands and lean down until we’re inches apart. Her eyes flutter closed. “Let me take you out to dinner.”
She leans back, her eyes flying open. “Like, now?”
