We ate in silence for a few minutes, sipping from bottlesof water between bites. My mind drifted back to Saturday night, gut tightening as I thought about Maverick. With any luck, I’d finally get my hands on him again tonight, get to kiss him and touch him some more.
As much as I wanted that, it made me nervous, too. I didn’t have the best track record with women, so why did I think it would be any better with a man? Fuck, what if it wasworse?
Lyle kicked my foot. “What’s up with you today?”
“What do you mean?”
“You seem distracted.”
“Oh. Well…” Lyle waited while I paused, unsure what to say. But hell, I needed to talk to someone. “I hooked up with Maverick.”
“Ah.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Ah. That’s it? You don’t seem surprised.”
He shrugged one shoulder. “You were pretty interested in his dates. We tried to tell you there might be a deeper reason for that.”
I huffed. “Yeah, so you’re all smarter than me. I knew that already.”
“It’s not about smarts. You can’t see it until you’re ready.” He nudged me. “So, are you ready?”
I hesitated. “I think so.”
“If you’re having doubts, you need to be honest with him.”
“No, it’s nothing like that. The sex was great, and realizing I’m bi is kinda weird but like, so what, right? You’re bi too. I can handle that. I just…I suck at dating, Lyle.”
“Oh.”
“Not a little either. I suck alot.Like, I get my shit thrown into the street. My exes never speak to me again and trash my name all over town. I’m a huge asshole, apparently, and I don’twant that for Maverick. I mean, I’ve already spent enough time being a dick to him. He deserves better.”
Lyle slid another slice of sausage into his mouth, then hummed. “If you care that much, I don’t think it’ll be the same with him.”
“It’s not that simple, though, is it? I mean, I thought I cared about my last girlfriend.”
“Did you really, though?” He arched an eyebrow. “I remember you being pretty cavalier about your relationship. You were bailing on her to go out for beers pretty often.”
I winced. “Not making me feel any better.”
“Do you want to spend time with Maverick?”
“Of course I do.”
“Just for sex?”
“No. He’s smart as hell. Sassy, you know? He’s got this sharp tongue. Whenever I rile him up, he fires right back, and…”
“And he can handle you, huh?” Lyle said with a grin. “He’s your match?”
“Maybe,” I murmured.
“So, don’t fuck it up.”
“That easy, huh?”
“No.” Lyle hopped off the pickup truck. “It’s that hard. But if you like him, it’ll be worth it. As for the being with a guy thing…”
“Yeah?”
