“Hey, Damon!”Rudy called from the living room. “This hot chick is texting me, man. She wants in my pants.”
I massaged spicy peppercorn seasoning into the two ribeyes on my butcher’s block in the kitchen. “Sure, she does.”
“She does, man! And you won’t believe the rack on her. You’ll be so fucking jealous.”
“Maybe you should go hook up with her then.”
Rudy leaned in through the doorway of the kitchen with a grin. “Nah,ese, I can’t miss out on that fine beef you’re cooking up all nice for me.” He walked over to my refrigerator and opened the door. “Not to mention all thechela.”
“What?”
“Beer, man. Beer.” He pulled out a Michelob and popped the top. “How can you call yourself my friend and not even know my Mexican slang?”
“I don’t remember calling myself your friend.”
Rudy laughed off my comment as I ran my hands under the water, then flicked a few droplets onto my indoor grill totest the temperature. It hissed, signaling it was ready to sear some steak.
I’d have preferred to grill outdoors, but I was out of propane. Unlike Dad, I preferred a gas grill and a nice even cook. My countertop Foreman did a pretty good job in a pinch.
Rudy started out of the kitchen.
“Do you have any manners at all?” I asked.
“No. Why?”
“Get me a fuckingchelawhile I cook for you.”
“Oh, my bad.” He backtracked to the fridge and grabbed a second beer, passing it over. “But seriously, dude. Just look at this girl.”
He thrust his phone under my nose, and I was treated to an up-close shot of a woman’s breasts straining a low-cut blouse. It took a minute for my eyes to find her face. She had wavy dark hair, full lips. A real beauty.
“Fake.”
“What? No, her tits look so?—”
“The picture, Rudy. The woman. You’re getting catfished.”
“How can you say that?” he protested, pressing a hand over his heart. “You don’t think I can score with her?”
“No,” I said bluntly. “But also, there’s no way that woman lives here. We’d have seen her.”
Rudy squinted as he re-examined his phone. “Maybe she just doesn’t get out much?”
I snorted. “Maybe she’s an Internet troll. Has she asked you for any money yet?”
“Just for twenty bucks to get an Uber…”
“Which Granville doesn’t even have,” I pointed out, “And if it did, it’d cost like five bucks to getanywhere in this tiny town.”
He sagged. “Fuck, man. I’m an idiot, huh?”
I smirked. “No comment.”
Rudy slunk into the living room, defeat written all over him. I’d feel sorry for him if he wasn’t such a damn player. The guy had a good heart, but he was immature and annoying as fuck. But then, he was twenty years old. He still had some growing up to do.
“You don’t think she’s really a dude, do you? I already sent her a shot of my dick, man!”
I choked on a swallow of my beer. “Well, so what if she is? Love is love, ese!”
