Ball Breakers was next door in the same strip mall, so Knight and I walked over. We took a seat at the bar, and I picked up a laminated menu. It was all the usual bar fare: wings, burgers, chicken-fried steak. They had surprisingly good pulled pork sandwiches.
Leo came over. “What’ll it be?”
“I’ll take that Witch Hunt you’ve got on seasonal special,” Knight said. “Plus, a loaded jalapeno burger.”
I grimaced. I didn’t know how he ate that garbage. “Pulled pork,” I said. “Whatever’s on tap.”
Leo nodded and moved away. I swiveled toward Knight. “So, how’s it going over at Anarchy Ink?”
“Really good,” he said. “Cyrus is a chill dude. Everyone is friendly. I couldn’t have landed a better gig, you know, because they’re much more relaxed about the con thing. Other than your job, I mean. You still get the gold star.”
I laughed. “That was just lucky timing. When they brought me on at the junkyard, it was a favor to Matteo. Once he pulled back, it was easy to slot me into his old job.”
Knight nodded. “Still, you’re set now, man. A certified mechanic. That’s something no one can take away from you.”
“Yeah,” I murmured.
I could use my skills to find a job in another shop. That was no small thing. But I really wanted to stay where I was, and not only because of Bailey.
I liked the guys a lot. Axel was laid-back as hell when I worked with him, and Holden was a little uptight, but he always had the best of intentions. Gray was like this force that kept them all in balance.
Bailey, of course, was the heart of the place. It hadn’t been the same without him. But going somewhere he’d never been would be even worse.
Knight and I shot the shit until Leo served our meals. Then we dug in.
“Missed you at the last Redemption meet,” Knight said. “Was that about Snake?”
“Not entirely. I went up to Thurston University. My brother goes there.”
Knight nodded, licking grease from a finger. “Your boy’s up there too, right?”
“Uh, right, but that’s not public knowledge yet.”
Knight raised an eyebrow. “Right. How are you handlingthat?”
I shrugged. “We’re going to tell his brothers this weekend when Bailey comes down.”
“Think they’ll take it okay?”
“I don’t know. Bailey thinks so. I…hope so, but he’s their baby brother, and I’m sure they want a lot better for him than the likes of me.”
Knight winced in sympathy. “Don’t talk like you’re damaged goods, man.”
I shrugged. “Not exactly untrue, though, is it? After what we’ve seen in prison? What we’ve had to do just to survive it?”
Knight leaned in close, holding eye contact. It was intense, but not in a sexual way. “Listen to me, brother. All those experiences didn’t damage you. They changed you, sure. But you came out the other side. You will appreciate Bailey more than any other man. You’ll work harder than any other employee. Because you’ve seen the darkness, and you’ve chosen not to give in to it. You feel me?”
“Yeah.”
“He’s lucky to have you.”
I shook my head.
“Say it,” Knight insisted.
“He’s lucky to have me,” I mumbled.
“Good. Now, repeat it every day until you believe it. I don’t believe that nonsense about how no one can love you unless you love yourself, but I do believe you’ve got to stop seeing yourself in the worst light, or you’re likely to ruin a good thing.”
