“Where is this coming from? I’ve never taken you as the type to hold grudges.”
“It’s not about some personal grudge,” I said, neck heating. “You can’t trust this man. He’s duplicitous. He’s always running a con of some kind.”
Matteo shook his head. “We were all different in prison. You of all people should know that, Flynn.”
I flinched. “What does that mean?”
“You know what I mean.” Matteo averted his gaze. “You saved my life in there, but you didn’t exactly use civilized means to do it.”
I hunched my shoulders, trying to curl in on myself. To hide that ugly core of anger and violence that had kept me alive. Kept my friends alive. In prison, there were two types of men. Those who took, and those who were taken. Guys like me and Knight did our best to be a buffer for the guys who couldn’t stand up to the ugliness of that place.
But that took something from us too. It took our innocence. Took our peace.
Matteo laid a hand on my arm, and I pulled away. “That wasn’t me. Not the real me.”
“I know,” he said gently. “And maybe that wasn’t the real Shane in there either.”
I shook my head. “He’s like the guys I was protecting you from, Matteo. Don’t you get that?”
He nodded, eyes locked on mine. “I do, Flynn. I can’t thank you enough for protecting me when I needed it. But out here, the rules are different. I don’t have to be afraid. Neither do you. If Shane is who you think he is, then he won’t last in this program. But if he wants to start over and find redemption, I won’t be the one to tell him no. I can’t. That’s the point of this whole program.”
I nodded reluctantly, my throat too tight to answer. Maybe Matteo was right. Maybe I was unfairly judging Snake by his actions in a toxic environment. Still, Matteo didn’t know himlike I did. He’d gotten released before Snake was transferred into our cellblock.
He hadn’t seen the way this man charmed the guards, cozied up to the worst of the worst, and manipulated everyone else. He’d convince you to trust him, get you to tell him your deepest, darkest secrets, and then use them against you.
Knight sidled up to me. “Spill it, Dozer. Should I not let this guy move in with me?”
“I wouldn’t,” I said tightly. “But Matteo thinks he deserves a chance.”
“Does Matteo know him?”
“Not like I do,” I said grimly.
Knight nodded. “Looks like my roommate will change his mind at the last minute. Not move out after all. But how am I going to cover the rent?”
“I’ll ask around. Outside the program. Maybe the guys I work for will know someone.”
“Cool. Thanks for the heads-up.”
My heart thumped. “Yeah. Thanks for trusting me.”
“Of course, brother.” He tapped my fist with his. “We’re in the trenches together.”
My eyes caught Snake’s from across the room. Maybe it was my imagination, but they seemed to taunt me. Would he tell my deepest secrets like he had in prison?
Tell everyone I was bisexual. That I’d once been in love with my former cellie. In love with Matteo.
That would be embarrassing. But those truths didn’t have the same power out here.
Matteo was straight. He was engaged to a beautiful woman. He was, for all intents and purposes, my boss. I had moved on to another untouchable, inappropriate attraction.
Maybe it said something about me that I only lusted after men I shouldn’t have. It probably did. I’d spent most of my life inthe closet to avoid the wrath of my homophobic stepdad. I wasn’t sure I even knew how to live my life openly, even though I had nothing to hold me back.
Once you went to prison, being bisexual didn’t seem like such a crime.
If Snake wanted to tell everyone I liked dick, he could go for it. He’d never drag me into his twisted games again.
CHAPTER 7
