All my defensive hackles went up. “I know I fucked up tonight, but that doesn’t have anything to do with Flynn. Don’t drag him into this lecture.”
“He’s a distraction you don’t need right now.” He spared a look at Flynn. “Sorry, but you are. He’s nineteen years old. He doesn’t know what he wants yet.”
“I’m turning twenty this weekend! I don’t just keep telling you I’m an adult; Iamone—and just because my priorities aren’t yours doesn’t mean I don’t know what they are.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” Holden asked.
A sudden tense silence fell between us. The air crackled like the calm before a storm. If I was honest with Holden, if I told him everything, would he ever stop being disappointed in me?
Flynn cleared his throat. “Maybe I should give you two a minute to talk.”
“No.” I reached out and snagged Flynn’s hand, holding on tight. “You’re important to me, and I want you here.” I glanced over. “If that’s…okay with you?”
This could get ugly. Maybe it wasn’t fair to drag Flynn into my family drama. But he just nodded and squeezed my hand in support.
Holden rubbed at his temples as if I exhausted him. Hell, maybe I did. Sometimes, I exhausted myself.
“Look,” Holden said, “if you’re serious about Flynn, it can wait until you finish school, Bailey. You need to keep your eye on the prize.”
“But that’s the problem, Holden. I don’t want that prize. You do.”
The words fell out of me much easier than I expected. It was a relief to purge them from my system. My chest was still tight, my heart aching, as I watched my brother’s brow furrow in confusion.
“What do you mean?”
“Do you know why I went to that race tonight? Why I worked on Owen’s car at all? Because I missed my job.”
Holden blinked. “What?”
“I’m amechanic, Holden. It sounds cheesy, but it’s my calling. I love working on cars. I don’t love going to school.”
“Bailey, we talked about this last year. You can’t know unless?—”
“Unless I try? Well, I have.”
He looked skeptical. “And you call this giving it a fair chance?”
I licked my dry lips. “I gave it the only chance I could, and I know I’ve disappoi—” My voice broke. “Disappointed you,” I rasped out. “I’m sorry.”
Holden stared at me, looking conflicted. “Come on, Bailey, you could never disappoint me,” he said. “Sometimes, your choices disappoint me, but only because I know you can do such amazing things. You’re too smart for your own good. You deserve better than the little shithole where we live.”
“Maybe, but that’s where my brothers are, and that’s where I want to be. It always has been.”
“So, I railroaded you into going to college. That’s what you’re saying?”
I hesitated. “Not entirely. I wanted to try, you know, in case you were right. But I didn’t think it was for me. I just know it meant a lot to you, being able to give me this, so…”
“So you’ve been faking it for me,” Holden said flatly.
“I guess so.”
A gust of wind ruffled my hair and cut through my coat. I shivered, longing for a hot shower, a warm bed, and Flynn beside me. Even more than that, I longed for my brother’s approval.
“Well, I guess we have a lot to talk about this weekend,” he said. “But about Flynn…”
“I really care about him,” Flynn said. “This isn’t some casual thing for me. I know Bailey is young, and if he changes his mind?—”
“I’m not changing my mind,” I cut in sharply. “We’re together. Holden might not like my choices, but he doesn’t get to make them for me.”
