My heart did a slow roll. “Fuck yes.”
He swallowed hard. “Did you mean it? About wanting me to fuck you.”
Excitement gripped me, pushing out the last of my hesitation. It might hurt, but fuck that. “I did. It’ll need to be the right time, but I won’t chicken out.”
He smiled. “You’re dealing with a lot right now, so let me know when you’re ready. Until then, there are all kinds of things we can do.” He let his dick go and looked himself over. “I’m a goddamn disaster. Want to take quick showers and fall asleep with the computers on?”
“Just what the doctor ordered,” I said. “Meet you back here in ten?”
“You’ve got it.” He chuckled. “Don’t forget to wash behind your ears. You came hard enough that you’ll probably find some there.”
There wasn’t any behind my ears, but it was a bitch getting it out of my chest hair. I was smiling while I cleaned up. We were going to make this work.
27/
nico
A Few Weeks Later
I staredat two button-up shirts and couldn’t decide which one Pack would like better. Looking at them individually only made me swear, and I threw up my hands in exasperation. Finally, I realized what I was doing and shoved both into my bag.
Flying to San Francisco would mean seeing Pack again, but it also meant facing a conversation I’d been avoiding for weeks. I wanted more clarity on our situation. Were we building something real or having fun without thinking about the future?
Things were going well. Our outreach appearances were drawing crowds, and every photo or video of us sent social media into another frenzy. We tried to treat the hashtags, shipping posts, and fan edits like background noise, but they kept bugging us.
At least the chirping from our teammates had eased. Pack said the Warriors were giving him less shit, and my friends had gone from open mockery to a steady stream ofyou two are disgusting but adorable.
Pack and I talked constantly about almost everything. But the one thing we hadn’t touched on was the most important of all.
Where the fuck are we going?
We’d agreed to let the relationship grow naturally without pressure. For a while, that worked. But as the weeks passed, unease grew in the back of my mind. It wasn’t panic or doubt; it was the need to know if we wanted the same things.
I didn’t ask. Pack was still sorting himself out, exploring his sexuality and what it was like to have a boyfriend. I didn’t want to spook him, or worse, push him into saying something he didn’t mean. The problem was, I knew exactly how I felt.
I’d wanted him in college, and even when I thought I hated him, part of me was still attracted to him. Now that we were finally together, I didn’t want to lose him. He didn’t know all that, and I wasn’t sure how to tell him. Maybe this weekend would be the right time, not for a big speech or dramatic promise, but for complete honesty.
I’m open to a future with you. Can you see one with me in it?
The flight was endless. Six hours of turbulence, a sad excuse for a snack, and me staring out the window, trying to stop my heart from racing every time I thought about Pack. His flight landed a couple of hours before mine, so he’d be waiting at the hotel when I arrived.
As the plane taxied to the gate, my phone buzzed.
PACK: Been tracking your flight online and saw you just landed. I’d say I’m not going crazy waiting to see you, but that would be a lie. Let me know when you’re on your way and I’ll order dinner for us. I’m in 2104.
I couldn’t stop the smile spreading across my face.
NICO: Can’t wait to see you, babe. I’ve been counting the miles.
I typed a heart, then deleted it. Typed it again. Deleted it again. In the end, I left it off because he hadn’t used one. As close as we’d become, I was scared of reaching for him with everything all at once.
By the time my Uber arrived at the Fairmont, the sun was setting behind the skyline. The city glowed warm and gold against the evening sky.
I checked in and took the fastest shower of my life. Sweats, hoodie, and cologne were enough, so I grabbed my phone and headed out. In the hall, I dodged other guests and nearly collided with a room-service waiter. Outside Pack’s door, I stopped to breathe. Seeing him after time apart always did this to me.
I knocked, and the door opened immediately. Pack was breathtaking in gray sweatpants and a Warriors hoodie with the sleeves shoved up his beefy forearms. He was obviously going commando, which made my heart beat faster.
Please let him want what I do.
