He widened his beautiful eyes and guided my hand over his chest. He trembled as he moved my hand down to his stomach. Holy hell, the heat of him through his shirt made my dick throb.
The only sounds were our breathing and the faint hum of the elevators. Here we were again, locked in the same awful, beautiful closeness I remembered from college. Back then, we’d been kids, scared and stupid. We’d buried our feelings under jokes and distance. Girlfriends gave us an excuse to ignore the tension between us, and then years of hatred kept us away fromeach other. It had all been too much, and I couldn’t pretend anymore.
“Nix?” His voice was a hoarse whisper. “I keep having these crazy thoughts. About us.” He paused but didn’t break eye contact. “I’ve been wondering if… well, if we were thinking alike.” He stopped again and worked his jaw. “I’ve never done anything like this with a man. But with you, I want to.”
Emotions kept me quiet.
“I need to know if you feel it too,” he whispered. “Am I losing my mind? Do you?—”
I kissed him.
For one thready heartbeat, he didn’t move. Then his mouth opened under mine, and I was drowning in him. When I traced his bottom lip with my tongue, his low moan was electrifying.
He cradled my face in his hands as I crawled on top of him. Our bodies aligned in a way that seemed inevitable. When I pulled back to breathe, he chased my mouth and slid his fingers into my hair.
“Fuck,” he whispered against my lips. “Nix?—”
I kissed him again, slower this time. His hips shifted under me, and when our cocks touched, the friction made us groan. My hands shook as I framed his face, and when I finally pulled away, we were both panting.
I rested my forehead against his. “I’ve wanted to do that since we were eighteen years old.”
His breath caught. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“You were straight, and I was terrified.” I brushed my thumb over his cheekbone. “Now I realize I’ve never stopped wanting you.”
His eyes shone. “I didn’t know. Or at least, I didn’t understand what I was feeling back then. But now—” He took a shaky breath. “Now I can’t stop thinking about you. Or this.”
“Do you want to keep going?” I asked, even though pulling away would have killed me. “We can stop. We can?—”
“I don’t want to stop.” His voice was unwavering. “I don’t know how much I can give you the first time, but I want this. I want you.”
I kissed him again, pouring years of want into it, and he kissed me back like he was making up for lost time. When we finally stopped to breathe, his lips were swollen, and his eyes were dark with desire. He looked beautiful even when he was wrecked.
“Nix,” he whispered.
The way he said my name was almost reverent, even awed. It made my heart stutter.
“I’m here,” I said. “I’ve got you.”
He pulled me down for another kiss, and this time, neither of us held back. Soon, we pulled off our shirts and enjoyed being skin to skin. Kissing Pack, him against me. He wanted me, and I couldn’t believe we were about to have sex.
My phone jangled.
“Goddammit!” I rolled off him. I’d left the phone across the room, and the alarm was too jarring to ignore. I jumped out of bed and ran to shut it off. When I crawled back in beside him, his long face told me he knew what was coming.
“If I don’t go, I’ll miss my plane,” I said. “Usually, I wouldn’t mind taking a later one, but I’m supposed to play in tonight’s game.”
The pillow rustled as he nodded. “Do you have a few minutes? Believe me, it won’t take long.”
I traced a finger across his cheek. “I don’t. But even if I did…” Nerves hit hard, but this was no time to be a coward. “I don’t want our first time to be rushed. I want to hold you afterward, let you hold me.”
His eyes were dark with frustration, but he nodded. “Me too. But I need you so goddamn much.”
“Need you too.” I brushed a kiss to his nose. “We’ll see each other in a week. Can you wait that long?”
For a moment, I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know what he was thinking, and neither of us was good at promises. But he nodded again, slower this time.
“I can wait,” he said. “I want it to be special too.”
