Holy fucking shit. Buffalo Warriors, Eastern Conference champions. Finals, here we come.
The locker room was chaos. “Rock and Roll All Nite” blasted from the speakers, and some of the guys were spraying beer everywhere. We all jumped around to the music, led by the team’s worst dancer, Holky. He looked like an electrocution in progress, and Dog was laughing louder than anyone.
“Finals, baby!” Riley yelled.
“Way to go, boys,” Harpy shouted, taking his turn spraying beer. “We’re the Eastern champs!”
Gabe jumped into the air and gave a huge victory pump. “Let’s fucking go, Warriors!”
I yelled too, laughed like crazy, and downed a beer I didn’t remember grabbing. That should have been enough, but despite all the noise and excitement, a quiet thought kept running through my mind.
Nix.
I wanted to hear his voice and see his face. No, not “wanted.” Ineededto share this with him, like we should have been sharing everything all along. I thought about texting him right then, but decided to wait until I got home. I wasn’t even sure I could get to my phone with the locker room in full party mode.
Harpy clapped me on the shoulder. “You good, Pack?”
“Yeah,” I said, waving off the beer Logan tried to give me. Iwasgood, at least when it came to hockey.
When I got home, the adrenaline had faded, leaving me wired and restless. I changed into sweats and a hoodie, then picked up my phone. I stared at the message I’d seen earlier when I got dressed at the arena.
NIX: Congrats, champ. I knew you guys had it.
I smiled, and then I wanted to kiss him. My grin faded, but before sadness could take over, I typed a reply.
PACKY: Thanks. Wish you were here.
His answer came quickly.
NIX: Me too. If you want, we can celebrate soon.
My heart went into double time. Did he really mean it?
PACKY: I’d like that.
NIX: Great! I’m sure you guys are partying, so I’ll let you go. Can we text tomorrow?
Of course he’d think we were raising hell. A few of the guys had gone to Revolution Hops, but I begged off. Many players thought celebrating conference championships was bad luck, so I used that as my excuse.
Something told me I shouldn’t tell Nix I was home alone.
PACKY: You know it. Can’t wait.
The heart felt like the right thing to do. It was honest.
NIX: Me either. Have fun.
I sat on the couch, staring across the room. Why did everything feel so wrong between us? Fuck that. Things were so far from right that calling themwrongwas a massive understatement. It would be at least two more weeks, maybe three, before the Finals were over. I missed Nix so much I couldn’t sleep, and that was already hurting my game. More than that, it was messing with my sanity. I couldn’t keep living like that.
The truth hit hard. I’d been hiding behind the playoffs because it was safer than risking everything. But the season would end when it did, and the Warriors would either win or lose. The only thing that mattered to me anymore was whether I’d go home alone after the final game or with Nix.
“I’m done hiding behind the calendar,” I said. “If I’m going to lose him, it won’t be because I was too scared to try to keep him.”
I opened my laptop.
42/
nico
