My camera was the second thing I’d unpacked when I moved, my hockey sticks being the first. I had stumbled on it pretty much by accident. It was in high school, and I needed to take one more elective. I originally wanted to take the strength training class with some of my buddies, but that was full, so they gave me my second option, which I had picked at random. I didn’t know what to expect but immediately realized I’d found something special. We had a darkroom for developing film, and I remembered feeling like those red lights and the methodical process of developing my photos offered me an escape from whatever was stressing me at the time. Another contributing factor to my love for photography was my professor, Gary DeCampo, an animated man who traveled around the world photographing everything from top models in front of the Louvre to a pride of lions prowling the African savanna.
There, my plans were set, then. It would be a good reason to get out of the house and a great way to find some community here.
First, though, I had to get out of my sweats.
I went and showered, still listening to my music, and finished getting ready. As I was getting inmy car, I got the idea to text Chris from the team. All the guys seemed chill, but Chris felt the friendliest toward me right from the start. I had no idea if he was even into photography like I was, but maybe he’d still want to hang regardless.
ELI: Hey man, this is random but I’m heading to this photography meet-up. It’s at The Grind coffee shop. Want to meet me there and then grab a beer at the bar across the street?
Why does this feel so weird.
I wasn’t exactly the most social of butterflies. I had always either kept a small circle or been fine on my own for some short periods of time. Then Ben came into my life like a blackhole and sucked in everyone around me, leaving basically only him.
Even my connections with previous teammates had suffered. I wouldn’t hang out after practice as often, and I’d miss team dinners and outings because Ben either wanted me home with him or at his side at whatever business event he needed to be at.
It fucking sucked.
So even if I had to push outside of my comfort zone to make friends in Burlington, then damn it, I’d do it.
CHRIS: That sounds fun… I’ll be there. Dylan’s with me… we were at the gym. Mind if he comes?
ELI: Yeah of course! Seeyou guys soon.
CHRIS: See you…
I chuckled and wanted to bring up the ominous ellipse usage but figured it was just Chris’s way of texting. I pulled out of my driveway and started down the tree-lined road that wound through my neighborhood. Most of the houses were all set against a thick backdrop of trees. The winter chill had stripped them of most of their leaves, but I knew that come springtime, it would serve as a beautiful background.
The proximity to nature was what I liked most about making the move to Burlington.
Well, that and the proximity to hot and slightly mysterious men named Gabriel Sanderson.
I couldn’t get him out of my head. Not since first meeting him. It was the weirdest thing. I was evendreamingabout the guy. And these were dreams that seemed to have been painted in Technicolor, with sensory details that felt so real I would wake up sure that I was still in his arms.
And yet I’d had to keep it completely chill when I was around him during the last few practices. I’d sneak glances at him, and I’d listen in on some of his conversations, just to get to know him a little more, but I never really partook. And if I was brought into the conversation, he would casually drift off. Almost like he couldn’t be in the same space as me.
There was also the fact that he was apparently very straight. He hadn’t been tied publicly to any women from what I could tell, but there had been hints of romantic relationships in the locker room banter.
And yet…
I stopped at a red light and reached for my phone. I’d gotten his number through the group text Dylan had addedme to (which he had also called Bobcat Baddies).
I hovered my thumb over Gabe’s name.
Should I invite him to this?
I wanted to see him outside of his gear again, experience him in a more casual setting. He made me so damn curious. Maybe we could end up being good friends? Maybe that was the oddly intense tug I felt toward him? It could also be a good opportunity for me to get some more intel on Gabe’s dating life.
Then again… why was I even thinking about any of that? I had just moved to a new city, to play on a new team, after breaking up with an old love; the last thing I needed was a fresh source of complications and drama. That was exactly what messing around with Gabe would bring.
Nope. Couldn’t do that. I needed to focus on myself and on making sure I proved myself out on the ice.
No distractions.
I tossed my phone onto the passenger seat and continued on my way.
The Grind wasn’t very far from my house. Took me less than ten minutes before I was pulling up to a parking spot right in front of the coffee shop. It was a cute spot, with a varnished dark wooden facade and a cluster of green ivy climbing up the side, creeping toward the hanging black and gold painted mug with the coffee shop’s name scrawled across it. A rainbow flag waved in the air right above a trans flag. Through the two wide windows, I could see a group of people gathered around multiple tables.
From down the street, I spotted Dylan and Chris walking toward me, both wearing similar brown leather jackets and white t-shirts. They’d match completely if Dylan hadn’t been in black jeans and Chris in blue.
