And he was right, I had to admit. “Thank you. It’s an instinct to make our were rooms as nice and cozy as possible.”
That’s exactly what I’d aimed for. The logs of the cabin had been covered over with reinforced concrete, then painted in a calming, rich, mint green. There was a wide window—hurricane-proof to withstand any kind of impact—that overlooked a sea of trees dusted in white from a passing snowstorm. There was a television with a couple of video game consoles connected to it. Not that I played it in my were form, but it was nice to have in the comedown after the shift, when I just wanted to chill. There was a cloud-blue rug underneath a plush daybed pushed against the wall, a row of gray and white pillows up against the brown leather headboard.
Just next to the bed, barely noticeable, were four hooks where the chains went.
Eli was looking at none of that. His attention went to the photos that were all framed and hung up on my gallery wall. They were artistic shots of different moments during some of the hockey games. A close-up on Emmy’s blades kicking up a dusting of ice. A blur of black and light blue and white crashing into a blur of red and gold and black. A wide shot of a packed stadium.
“These are all yours?” he asked, although I had a sense he already knew my answer.
“They are. Helps me remember who I am if I start, you know, losing it.”
Eli gave a nod and an “mhm.” He wasn’t paying attention to me. He was examining my photography. And even though we’d been fully naked around each other already, it wasthismoment that made me feel most vulnerable.
Did he think it was trash? I’d seen his work. He had an entire Instagram account showing his beautiful shots. It was like he had said that one time: he truly had an eye for it all. Not just the bigger picture, but for the smallest details that turned a photo from a snapshot to aNational Geographiccover.
“I love these.”
My shoulders—which had been up against my head like I was cosplaying as classic fucking Dracula—relaxed. “Really?”
He looked over at me and laughed. “Yes, are you kidding? You capture movement and color so well, it’s literally insane. And this is so hard. Everyone’s moving so fast, it’s so chaotic. But you captured peace in that. It’s beautiful.”
“Wow.” I was a little blown away by his words. I was a confident man when it came to most things. I knew I was great at hockey, I was great with my family, I was great with my friends. But I never really showed off my photography to anyone else. I always sort of kept it to myself. Even though the guys on the team and the shifters in my pack would ask to see, I’d always just show them a couple of shots from the back of my camera but never actually the full thing. I didn’t know how it’d be received.
Now, I didn’t have to guess.
Thanks to Eli.
He turned to me, smiling widely. It should have felt weird having someone in such a personal space, but with Eli, it was only comfort. Like he belonged by my side from the start. “Thank you for showing me this, trusting me.”
I reached for him. My thumbs rubbed the back of his soft hands. “I’d show you the inner workings of my heart if it didn’t kill me.”
Eli chuckled. “Yes, let’s keep that heart beating please.” He lifted a hand—mine going with him—and placed it against my chest.
“It will continue to beat. Just for you.”
Still too much space. I yearned to erase it.
So I did.
I moved in for a kiss and felt him melt against me. His body went flush against mine, fitting against me like a glove. I let go of his hands and wrapped my arms around him.
He broke the kiss, only to trail more of them down to my chin, up my cheek. A tingling warmth sparked through my body like my insides had become a night sky on the Fourth of July.
My grip on his shirt tightened. His delicious scentnow filled the room, hitting me with a fresh wave of desire on every inhale. If I followed the animal side of me, I’d have him on his knees and worshipping me. I wanted to mark him, make him shout that he was mine, claim that he wanted me and only me.
But all that desire and yearning couldn’t cloud out a worry that crept up through the hazy heat. “Are you sure this is all okay? That none of this scares you?” I asked.
“You know…” Eli’s voice trailed off. He looked up into my eyes. I had to restrain myself from kissing him again. “No. It doesn’t. I don’t know why. I don’t know if it’s a delayed reaction, or if I’ve genuinely lost my mind, or… more likely, honestly, it’s because I just trust you. For whatever reason, I trust you like I trust the marrow in my own bones. I can’t find an ounce of fear in my body that’s there because of you. And I think that’s why I haven’t completely spiraled through all of this. It’s because it’s all happening with you.”
“I will always protect you, Eli. You can always trust me. I’ll always put you first. I’ll always have your thoughts, your feelings, your safety at the forefront of my mind. Always.”
“I know,” Eli said. He bit his bottom lip hard enough to pull color from the skin. “Please don’t hurt me, Gabe. Please.”
“Never.”
“I’ve been hurt before. By someone I put my all into. And I thought it was reciprocal. I was a fool for that. Please, please, don’t make history repeat itself.” His hazel eyes grew misty.
I shook my head. It hurt me that I could offer nothing else in this moment but my words. I wanted to somehow prove to him that I’d never harm him and that thinking ofanyone else making him hurt filled me with crimson-red anger. I wanted to tear that fucker to shreds. Make him feel the pain he’d inflicted on Eli but multiplied by a thousand. “I swear to you. I will rend this world in half if it meant keeping you safe and happy. I would reach up and grab the moon itself if I could, just so I could hand it to you and let you always have a source of light in your life. I’ll fight to the death to keep the darkness away from your light.”
