It had made me consciously avoid him during locker room moments or warm-ups. If we were working out at thesame time, I’d pick a machine or bench far from him, but still in a spot where I could keep an eye on him through the mirror. Occasionally checking him out when he wasn’t looking. Drinking up his physique as he sweat and grunted and lifted and stretched.
But why? Why was I scared of this feeling?
Because it’s with Elijah.
A man. Someone who would need me to come out.
Could I reckon with that? My gut told me no. That my need to keep as low a profile as possible was one with the weight of the shifter population behind it. How could I set that aside? It wasn’t me being selfish. No, it was the opposite. If I threw all caution to the wind, said that my wants mattered more than the safety and secrecy of shifters all around the world, thenthatwould make me selfish.
Eli smiled at me, and my entire body stiffened. I couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was about it, but I was certain that Eli had the most beautiful smile known to mankind. It was charming, disarming, and alluring all in equal measure.
Fuck, I just want to grab him by the back of his neck and kiss him.
“What kind of photography do you like?” Eli asked. We were sitting at a small round table in the corner of the cafe. The two massive ferns flanked us like security guards. It did feel a little like the VIP area. We were secluded, the rest of the group dispersed around the cafe. Dylan and Chris had both gotten into an animated conversation with Richie, although it sounded like they were talking to him about hockey and not photography.
“I started on sports photography, and that’s still my true love. I’ve been experimenting lately with food photography,but I think it’s the speed that I like most with sports.”
“That makes sense. I enjoy photographing wildlife. Sometimes my subject could be as slow as a box tortoise or as fast as a dove-tailed hawk.”
“Well, you came to the right spot for that.”
“Oh, I know. I’ve already seen like five wolves.”
My stomach dropped right out of my ass. I almost had to excuse myself to run to the bathroom so I could stuff it back in.
“Really?” I said, my throat feeling tight.
“Yeah. I mean… I don’t know if it’s the same one. Probably is. I’ll have to try and photograph it the next time I see it.” Eli paused and looked out the window. The vein in his neck pulsed. “Is Burlington known for having a big wolf population?”
“They’ve been seen around, yeah. But I wouldn’t worry. They’ve never hurt anyone.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck. I had to get off this conversation. Fast. “Uhm, so, uh, what’s your favorite color?”
He looked as thrown off by that question as I felt by asking it.
Shit. I meant to ask him his favoritelens, but all I could focus on was getting him off that whole “odd number of wolf sightings around here” topic. It didn’t help that he smelled so damn good. My brain had misfire after misfire after misfire.
“Mine’s blue,” I offered.
Eli chuckled. “Yeah, but whattypeof blue? I know it sounds hokeypokey, but just kind of think about it for a second.”
I looked around the room for some inspiration. “I guessmidnight blue. Something rich and dark. Like a night only lit up by a full moon. And maybe a galaxy or two.”
“There we go.” He smiled widely. “My first photography teacher in high school had us drill down on those things. Everyone else found it annoying, but I kind of found it fascinating. He wanted us looking at all the details.”
“It makes sense. I guess when I’m looking at my photography, I’m focusing more on the bigger picture.” I paused and smirked.
“Pun intended?”
“Fully intended.” We both had a chuckle. “So then what’s your favorite color? Be exact.” I cocked my head and grinned at him.
“Canary yellow.” Eli crossed his arms. His biceps bulged against the black T-shirt. “Its HEX code is four three?—”
“Okay, okay, I got it.” We both laughed, the rest of the cafe beginning to fade away.
…Which was exactly what made it all snap back into focus.
I was getting distracted, letting my guard down. This looked awfully intimate for a meet-up meant to be about cameras. If people glanced this way, they’d be hard-pressed to say if they were looking at a friendly chat or a first date that must have been going extremely well.
