Just because I have to do it doesn’t mean I want to. All I can think about is how my relationship with her will change. What she’ll think of me.
My would-be brothers don’t believe she’ll send me away, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s that people can surpriseyou in the worst ways when you don’t expect it. I have to keep my guard up. Protect myself.
I’m at her front porch too soon, knocking lightly on the door. There’s some shuffling and barking inside the house, and when the door opens, Adley is there, eyes rimmed red, the tip of her nose matching.
Aw, hell. She’s been crying. And it’s all my fault.
My heart cracks at the sight of her in her oversized tee and baggy sweatpants, obviously ready to go to sleep for the night.
I take the hat from my head and press it to my chest, never taking my eyes off of her as my heart pounds in my chest, aching. “Adley.” My voice is rough but quiet. “I owe you an explanation.”
She nibbles on her bottom lip for a moment before stepping aside and giving me space to enter the house, which I do, ducking under the door frame and standing in the entryway until she closes the door and leads the way into the living room. She sits first, taking one end of the couch, and I move in to take the other. I set my hat on the arm and turn my body to face her profile.
Her posture screams sadness and negativity, and that crack in my heart widens at the sight.
I swallow hard before speaking. “Adley. I’ve been keeping something from you, but I can’t do it anymore. I need to tell you the truth.”
Her head turns to look at me, silent but blinking, a little wrinkle between her brows.
“Lloyd told you that I was his friend, and I am. But neither of us told you how we met.” I take a deep breath and close my eyes like a coward. “We met when I was in a work program. A prison work program.”
When I pop one eye open, Adley’s confusion grows on her face, then fades a moment later. Her concentration remains on me.
“Just over five years ago, I was arrested. For aggravated assault.” I dive into the explanation then. “There was this man outside a store screaming at a female Omega. Just really laying into her over some absurd nonsense. Other people were there, but everyone was ignoring them.” I let out a sigh as the memory replays in my mind. “At first, I almost did the same, but when that bastard hit her, I lost it. Something in me snapped. When he kept hitting her as I ran to intervene, I completely lost my mind.” I keep her gaze so she understands the gravity of what I’m telling her. Adley’s brown eyes are slightly wide, but steady and focused.
“I beat that Alpha to within an inch of his life.”
Adley’s expression is sad, piteous. Not quite what I expected. My fists flex as they begin to ache with the memory of bashing that piece of shit’s face in. “I was arrested immediately. The guy I beat was hospitalized for a very long time. What’s worse is that everyone was ignoring his behavior because he’s the son of a wealthy rancher. But then, when I was charged, the prosecution brought up another uncomfortable… issue. They tried to throw on additional charges because… I’m a Cap.” I stare at Adley, searching her expression for any reaction, but she doesn’t give one.
“They wanted to claim I wasn’t taking my suppressants. But blood work saved me, and, later, so did good behavior, and a change in state attorney general. But they still upped my suppressant dosage.” I run my fingers through my hair on another sigh, not knowing what else to say. “Prison is where I found out I could paint. It was where I learned construction skills. That was how I met Lloyd. He was working with a crew that came down to Texas and took on prison workers as a part of a rehab program. Lloyd and I hit it off on the work site. He told me when I got out to call him, and I did.” I swallow again, my throat tight. “And that’s how I wound up here. With you.”
Adley is facing me straight on now, one leg bent on the cushion in front of her, hands on both knees as she shoots me a confused look. “Ezra, I appreciate you telling me this, I really do. And I understand this must be difficult to talk about. But what does it have to do with your behavior? With not letting yourself get close to us? Tome?”
Did she not hear a word I said?
“I’m a felon, Adley.”
“I heard you. That doesn’t matter to me. Why does it matter to you, when it comes to us?”
My mouth opens then shuts, incredulity smacking me in the face. “Me being around you isn’t good. Me being around this sanctuary probably isn’t good either. If anyone finds out about what I’ve done, there will be trouble.”
Adley frowns at me, rises to her feet, and crosses her arms. “I know you’re not stupid, so I’m going to chalk this up to you feeling sorry for yourself. I’ve told you that none of this matters, and I mean it. Who you are now, right here with me, is all that matters. I appreciate you wanting to protect me and the sanctuary, but the best way you can do that is to be here with us. Actually present.” She comes closer and suddenly kneels on the carpet in front of me, placing her hands on my knees. “You can’t live in the past forever, Ezra. You’ll never move forward. You’ll forever be stuck in a prison of your own making.” She taps her temple with one finger, those chocolate eyes imploring as she looks up at me. “Don’t you want to move on from this? Don’t you want to be happy, at last? Because I know you’re not. We don’t need to be bonded for me to sense how miserable you are, how stressed. Always hiding, always fighting for control, never letting go and justbeing.”
Those devilish hands start gliding up my thighs, and I’m frozen. Under the weight of her gaze, both understanding andheated. Under the weight of her words as they hit too close to home.
Iamalways hiding. Never being free. Never letting go.
But I don’t know if it’s more due to the fact that I’m hiding my past, or because I’m hiding what I am.
I put my hands over hers, dwarfing them. My voice is hoarse as I whisper, “You don’t care that I have a criminal record?”
“No. What you did was violent, but you did it to protect someone who needed protecting. Someone you didn’t even know.”
“And what about me being a Cap?”
Her expression grows more bemused at that question. “So, you’re a big guy with big feelings. I don’t see a downside.”
Another sigh escapes me. “You know how serious this is, Adley. I have to take suppressants not to lose my cool. To help prevent what happened five years ago from happening again. And…” my voice trails. Do I even want to bring this up? I guess there’s no turning back now. “And it’s genetic. Me having children keeps the Capital genes in the pool.”
