Gracie’s tucked against my side, hand on my chest, and her breathing deep and even. She popped some painrelief after getting into her pajamas, but by the time her lashes drifted shut, the bruising under her eyes still hadn’t eased.
I’ve got one arm around her, the other tucked under my head as I stare up at the dark ceiling, unable to stop my thoughts from spinning—like I’m stuck in a never-ending whirlpool that’s constantly pulling me down.
If I fall asleep, I know I’ll dream. Just the thought of it makes me tense, an ache slithering up my neck and into the base of my skull. I thought today would have been enough of a distraction, but it wasn’t. Not until?—
Paisley.
It was like someone tipped a bucket of icy water over me when she appeared in that doorway tonight, leaving me breathless and shocked. It cleared my mind for the first time in two weeks, sending me straight back to a time when Paisley had been…everythingto me.
I’ve missed you.
The quiet words, whispered in my ear as she hugged me, had sent shivers rippling down my spine, and for a second, I was unable to tell the difference between past and present, the two of them merging together.
Paisley was the first person I ever loved—or thought I loved, I guess. But as she stood there, smiling at me, it felt like every single feeling I ever had for her rushed back to the surface, reminding me of a time when I didn’t have to worry about nightmares and the bruises under my girlfriend’s eyes.
The feeling faded as fast as it came, muffled by the memory of Paisley abruptly leaving and the way she coldly cut me out of her life. Our families were close—her brother,mybestfriend—and yet, the last time I saw her was when she told me that she was leaving, and there was no way we could make it work between us.
Paisley just cut me out of her life as if, the moment sheleft town, I stopped existing for her. We never talked about what happened, or that final conversation…until tonight.
I should never have gone outside with her when she asked to talk. It felt innocent enough at the time, but now, a dark feeling slithers through my body, telling me I’ve done something wrong.
I swallow roughly, the sound audible in the dark room. Paisley has changed a lot since the last time I saw her, the night she walked away and never looked back. I stopped imagining her coming back into my life a long time ago, and now, my memories have curled and faded with age.
The Paisley I met tonight…There was an air of confidence about her, in the way she carried herself and how she spoke. It is clear that her time away changed her, and it is hard to merge those memories of who she was with the reality of who she might be now.
Gracie shifts, a soft sigh leaving her lips, and my throat goes tight. I shouldn’t be thinking of another woman while I’m lying in her bed, and I hate myself for doing it to her. I moved on from Paisley a long time ago.
Gracie is my home now, and we’re building something together. Something real.
“Here,”Gracie says softly, placing a coffee in front of me the next morning.
“Thanks.” I watch as she sits down across from me, her eyes fixed on her mug, and I frown. “Your head still hurting?”
“A little,” she admits.
“Why don’t you go back to bed?” I urge. “The shop is closed today, right?”
Gracie gives me a wan smile. “Maybe I will after you leave.”
I dip my chin, and we fall quiet as I finish my coffee. I rinse my mug before gathering the last of my things, Gracie following me to the door. Her eyes are unreadable as she watches me slide my shoes on.
“I’ll give you a call later, yeah?” I straighten, giving her a smile before pulling her into a hug. “Just take it easy today.”
“Don’t worry about me,” she says, voice muffled against my shoulder. “I’ll be okay.” She pulls away, already half-turning, and I clear my throat.
“You forgetting something, baby?” I ask playfully.
Gracie hesitates. It’s only a second, maybe less. I wouldn’t have noticed if I weren’t watching her so closely. But then she turns back around, giving me a light kiss. I barely feel it before she’s pulling back and turning away, and an icy panic flares to life in my chest.
I don’t let myself analyze it, sliding my hand around her neck and pulling her back into me, slanting my mouth over hers. She doesn’t move for a breath, but then she sighs, melting against me, her tongue sliding against mine as I devour her.
Reluctantly pulling away, I stare down into her glazed expression, her lips reddened from the force of the kiss. “I love you, Rumpel.”
Something flashes through Gracie’s eyes, too fast for me to catch, but then her lips tip up. “I love you, too.” She stares up at me, and she’s my Gracie—the same person she’s always been. Relief has my shoulders sinking as she strokes my bristly cheek. “Be safe, okay?”
It’s the same words she gives me every time I go on shift, her concern warming me, knowing she’s waiting for me to come back to her. Those words have been hitting a little harder in the last weeks, but I grab onto them,holding them close, knowing they will be what gets me through this next shift.
“Always.”
