I hesitate for a beat, but then I’m shuffling across the cushions, tucking myself into his side.
For just a second, just a beat, everything else is blocked out, leaving me only with the comfort of someone who never hurt me—not really. It isn't about lingering emotions, but feeling safe, something that’s been missing for too long.
Nolan wraps his arm around me in a tight one-armed hug, resting his chin on the top of my head. His cologne isn’t the same as the one he used to wear, but I don’t mind the citrusy scent filling my nose now.
“This feels like old times.” Elyse waltzes into the room, wearing her uniform shirt and a knee-length black skirt. “Dad just called and asked me to come in a little earlier. Something about the register not adding up. You kids have fun, now!”
As quick as a tornado, she’s gone again. The front doorshuts firmly behind her, leaving Nolan and me alone. He doesn’t make a move to take his arm away, and I relax into his side, soaking in his presence.
“You wanna tell me what’s got you so down?” he asks after a couple of minutes.
I huff out an unamused laugh. “You wanna hear about all my drama?”
“Yes,” he says succinctly.
I tip my head back, resting it against his arm as I look up at him. “You might regret saying that.”
Nolan makes a low sound of amusement. “Maybe, but I’m pretty sure it’s something I can live with.”
I eye him, but nothing about him screams insincere, and I blow out a breath. “Well, we’ll see.”
He and I spend the rest of the afternoon together, talking about everything that’s happened in our lives since we saw each other last—including what I have been living through since Thanksgiving.
The more I tell him, the darker his expression grows, but he doesn’t say a word, just listening without judgment. Elyse has been great, but she’s full of opinions and ideas of how to help me feel better, so it’s nice having someone just listen without trying to fix anything.
When the sun starts falling, Nolan lets out a reluctant sigh. “I’ve got to head out. It’s family dinner over at Declan and Lily’s.”
I eye him with amusement. “The Nolan I knew hated anything that involved family, especially when everyone got together.” Our backgrounds might have been similar, but I know his family secrets are a lot darker than mine—and not so secret anymore. “Seems more has changed for you than I realized.”
Nolan doesn’t smile back, his hazel eyes serious as he tells me, “It’s funny how things change when you cut therot out.” His eyes crease as he adds, “But I’m still stuck with Darcy, so it’s not all silver linings.”
“Your sister is awesome,” I argue, and he rolls his eyes before he digs out his phone, shaking it at me.
“Is your number still the same?” I dip my chin in confirmation. “Good. How long are you going to be around for?”
I exhale heavily, having no concrete answer for him. I know that I’ll go home to Sterling Creek eventually, but right now… “For as long as I need to be, I guess. I can’t hide from real life forever, but I’m also not ready to face the mess I left behind.”
Nolan shakes his head. “Considering I dipped out from my family mess, I’m the last person who’s gonna judge you for taking some time.” His lips quirk in that almost-smile, like he’s not ready for anyone to know that he has the ability to actually be happy. “But we’ll hang out while you’re around, yeah? It’ll be like old times.”
I roll my eyes at him, and he grins, pressing a quick kiss against my cheek before he’s gone, leaving me alone in the quiet house, wondering if Elyse has a point. The images my imagination is cooking up are painful, leaving me unable to erase the echo of Paisley’s words on Christmas, the cloying scent of her perfume, or the image of her lips against his.
And yet, the fear that the truth might be worse still claws at me.
By the time my stomach grumbles, forcing me into the kitchen, night has completely fallen. I make myself a turkey sandwich for dinner, settling in front of the television to eat it, channel surfing until I find the crappiest show I can. I am determined to turn my brain to jelly so that, when I fall into bed, my dreams aren’t haunted by Braxton.
It’s a slim hope, and one I’ve tried before. It hasn’tworked yet, but I’ll keep taking my chances until it feels like I can breathe without hurting.
I finish my nutritious dinner and set my plate down just as my phone chimes. I glance at the screen with mild disinterest, but it disappears when I read Raewyn’s name on the screen, something in me demanding that I answer this time.
My fingers tremble as I pick up the phone, answering with a soft, “Hello?”
“Gracie!” Raewyn’s enthusiasm is only dampened by her relief, and I can’t help but smile as I settle back into the couch. I’ve been denying how much I miss her, as well as Stephen. They have both become such a big part of my life throughout my relationship with Braxton, and losing them feels like losing my own family.
Worse even, when my family sucks.
“How are you, sweetheart?” Raewyn asks. “I’ve missed talking to you, and I’ve been worried. Not that I don’t understand your silence, but…it’s good to hear your voice.”
I wish I were stronger, hating the way tears immediately spring to my eyes. I clear my throat, making sure she can’t hear the emotion clogging my throat. “I’ve missed talking to you, too. But I’m…good.” I’m a little surprised that I actually mean it. “I think the distance from everything is just what I needed, you know? If I had stayed, I would’ve just been playing everything out again and again in my mind, trying to work out what I could have done differently.”
