He doesn't answer me, his focus on the car idling at the curb. I hear a car door, just as Nick wonders, “What are you doing here?”
I peer around him, catching sight of reddish-brown hair that’s a little too long to be Esther’s.Ah, shit.
I haven’t seen Paisley since that night in Ashland, but she’s been messaging me a lot, asking me to meet up, totalk. I haven’t responded, knowing I’m rolling down a slippery slope at full speed, aiming straight for a goddam rocky cliff.
Paisley’s eyes flit between the two of us over the roof of the car. “Mom’s busy. She’s making Christmas pies, and you know how she is with them.” Her smile is timid as she rolls her eyes. “The pastry has to be cut perfectly, and then golden brown—not too dark, not too light. She didn’t trust me to watch the oven long enough to come get you.”
Nick’s head dips. “Believable.” He chuckles. “Considering your history in her kitchen, I’m surprised Mom lets you within ten feet. Pretty sure I heard her moaning about you cracking eggshells into something the other day.”
Under the street light, Paisley’s face flames red. “Shut up,” she hisses, and I know I’m missing something, but I’ve had just enough beers that the strings of it are too hard to catch. “Do you guys want a ride or not?” she demands impatiently. “It’s cold, and I could be doing something a lot more fun right now.”
Nick scoffs. “What, watching thatMarriage is Blindshow?” But he yanks open the passenger door and slides in, immediately shoving the seat as far back as it can go. I getin behind him, kicking his seat to force it forward as Paisley gets back behind the wheel.
“That’s not what it’s called,” she tells Nick snottily. “And you know what? Just for that, I might hang around with you guys and have a beer or two.”
Nick shrugs, unbothered, and Paisley adjusts her rearview mirror until she can see me. “It’s good to see you, Brax,” she says, voice a touch too soft. “I haven’t seen you since Ashland.”
Nick goes still as she flicks on her indicator, easing the car out onto the street. “Ashland?” he asks lowly, right before he turns to pin a dark stare on me, and I blink back at him.
“Yep,” Paisley chirps. “We met up last week and finished our Christmas shopping.” My brow knits together at howintentionalshe made it sound. “Don’t ask what I got you, Nicky. I’m not telling.”
Nick doesn’t answer her, and we fall quiet, only the low beat of the music on the radio breaking the silence. My phone vibrates, and I yank it out of my pants, almost dropping it in my haste. Hope crawls into my throat that Gracie might have changed her mind, imagining us snuggling on her couch, eating greasy pizza together, and everything just feelingbetter.
But the hope shrivels up into a bitter ball at the message waiting for me—notfrom Gracie.
Nick
We need to talk.
“I’m actuallyglad I stuck around tonight,” Paisley declares as she finishes her second beer, smile wide. Sheslams the glass down on the table. “I feel like I haven’t had any real fun in weeks.” She side-eyes us with a laugh. “Even if it was with you guys.”
Nick’s mouth goes tight at the corners, but he just digs his wallet out, fishing out some cash and sliding it over to his sister. “Why don’t you get us another round?”
“Don’t mind if I do!” Paisley slaps a palm down on the money, dragging it toward her and pushing her chair back. Nick watches as she saunters over to the bar before turning back to me, his expression darkening.
This is the first time we’ve been alone since we got here. Paisley decided almost immediately that she really didn’t want to go home, and sober driving apparently wasn’t on her bingo card for the night. At the rate she is going, we are definitely going to need a rideshare. And the idea of asking my mother or Gracie for a ride is enough to have me coming out in hives.
“Why were you with her?” Nick demands, leaning across the table and lowering his voice, as if someone might be listening in on us and he’s about to share state secrets. “Last week. Ashland. Isn’t that when you went to the wellness center?”
I rub the back of my neck, looking anywhere but at him. “Yeah. It’s nothing, man. We just ran into each other after my session.”
“She just happened to be in the next town over when you went there to have a counseling session?” The question is a challenge, but I tighten my jaw stubbornly, my own temper flaring. When I don’t give him an answer, Nick sits back, crossing his arms over his chest. “You told me there was nothing going on between you and my sister.”
I frown. “There’s not. I’ve barely seen her since she got back.” I gesture toward the bar, where Paisley’s grinning at some guy in a ball cap. “Paisley and I have been friends for years, right? I was friends with her before—” I cut myselfoff, swallowing hard. “The night before she left for Minnesota was a mistake. I never should have said anything.”
“But you did,” Nick says unnecessarily. “And it wasn’t something you decided on the fly. You came to me and told me first, basically asking for permission, and then you told her.” He stares at me, his eyes unreadable. “You wanted her to give you a different answer that night.”
“Of course I did!” I burst out, blood surging into my face. Anger and guilt war for supremacy, but it’s easier to lean when Nick refuses to look away. “I thought I loved her, and I’d been holding on to that for…I don’t even know how long. And it wasn’t something I took lightly. But it was alsofouryears ago, and I don’t feel that way now.”
“Don’t you?” Nick lifts his eyebrows, and agitation bubbles under my skin as I grind my molars so hard, they almost crack.
“No, I don’t. Fucking hell.” I stare at him. “Do you actually think that? That I’ve been carrying a torch for her all these years?”
Nick sighs, looking away from me. “I don’t know what to think, honestly. You didn’t date anyone seriously until Gracie, and Thanksgiving…”
A cold weight settles in just beneath my ribs. “What about it?” There’s a croak in my voice that I ignore, washing it away with another gulp of beer.
“Man…” Nick pinches the bridge of his nose, his expression frustrated and pained. “I saw the look on your face when you saw Paisley. Gracie saw it too. She spent the night looking like someone had sucker-punched her, and you didn’t even notice.” He drops his hand, exhaling hard. “I didn’t know that you hadn’t told her, but I caught on quick enough.”
