I hum innocently. “Or she learned to hide it better when shedidn’tmind her mother.”
Raewyn gasps dramatically. “That sort of talk doesn’t belong in my kitchen, young lady! My daughter is an angel who can do no wrong.” She sticks her nose in the air with a huff, but it only lasts for a second before her act cracks. “Well, that’s what we’ll keep telling Stephen, anyway.” I laugh then, loud and genuine, and Raewyn’s face softens as she watches me. “You seem lighter, Gracie.”
“I am lighter,” I admit. “I’m still having nightmares, and some days are harder than others, but I feel…okay.” I pause before admitting, “I made an appointment at the wellness center in Ashland.”
“I’m proud of you, Gracie.” Raewyn has never tried to downplay what happened, or given me some line about time easing it, and I appreciate that more than I can say. Most people aren’t sure what to say, so they avoid the topic altogether.
The wound on my back has healed over, but it’s scarred, the skin tight, red, and still tender when I twist thewrong way. It serves as a constant reminder that my world isn’t as safe as it once was.
Raewyn’s looking down as she slices vegetables. “You and Braxton seem to be spending a lot of time together.” There’s a thread of hope in her voice, and I hesitate, not sure what to tell her.
“We have,” I say slowly. “It’s…We’re friends.”
She bobs her head, humming. “I’m not friends with anyone I’ve seen naked.” She pauses, brow knitting. “Except Shirley, but that was only because she had never drunk tequila before. And I don’t think she has since.”
I don’t know who Shirley is, and I’m not about to ask. “I don’t know what we are,” I confess. “But he feels…” I trail off, finding Raewyn watching me with eyes full of understanding.
“Safe?” she ventures, and for reasons I can’t articulate, my eyes fill with tears.
“He shouldn’t feel safe. Not after everything. Right?”
“No one gets to decide what safety means for someone else, or what it looks like,” Raewyn says firmly. “And no one gets to decide what’s wrong for someone else.” She sets everything down, rounding the island to take my hands. “You have spent your whole life feeling unsafe, and you shouldn’t ever feel guilty about taking that feeling whenever you come across it.”
I don’t think we’re just talking about Braxton anymore.But looking into Raewyn’s eyes, there’s absolutely nothing that makes me doubt that she means exactly what she’s saying.
Desperate to change the subject before I start bawling, I clear my throat. “Have you heard anything about the Burnstans? I haven’t wanted to ask Braxton because he gets this constipated look on his face every time I bring it up.”
Raewyn’s mouth twitches. “I know the exact one you mean,” she says as she drops my hands, heading back tothe chopping board. “I’ve only heard gossip, really. Esther and Paisley have gone back to Minnesota, apparently. Can you put some water on the table, please?”
I do as she asks, walking back into the kitchen with a frown. “Is Joseph still in Sterling Creek?”
Raewyn nods. “Yep.” She washes her hands, drying them off with a dish towel. “He’s keeping to himself right now, but even if he weren’t…”
“What?”
She looks up at me, her eyes frosty. “I’ve always liked Joseph. He was already working at the fire station when Stephen joined. About a year before the boys were born. The timing of it all meant that Stephen and I gravitated toward Joseph and Esther, but I heard rumors that their start was…inauspicious, I suppose.”
“That’s some tea you’re sitting on,” I tell her. “Esther told me there was a whole league of women after Joseph, so she won him through his stomach.” I wrinkle my nose. “Apparently, she told Paisley the same thing.”
“I wish I were surprised,” Raewyn mutters. “And from what I heard, there was no ‘league’ of women.” She looks at me out of the corner of her eye. “There wasawoman, though.”
“Irene,” I remember.
“Now, all of this is hearsay, which is why I’ve never taken issue with Esther before. I’ve never been one to hold a person’s past against them, especially when I didn’t know them at the time. And for Esther, it wasn’t something that ever came up.”
“Until now.”
Raewyn nods. “Until now.” She sighs. “Maybe Esther and Paisley will stay gone. I don’t know what that means for Joseph or Nick, but it feels like the easiest solution for everyone else.” Pain fills her eyes at the mention of Nick, but she blinks, and it’s gone.
“Why do you think Paisley did it?”
It’s one thing that’s never made sense to me, knowing how Paisley turned Braxton down all those years ago and then left, never looking back. I didn’t understand how she could ever believe that he would fall at her feet, especially knowing she’d been involved with someone else all those years.
A married professor.Something else that still boggles my mind.
“I can only make a guess,” Raewyn says quietly. “I never want to excuse Paisley’s choices or how they hurt other people.” She closes her eyes, mouth pulling down. When her lashes lift, her eyes have hardened to green crystals. “I think Paisley was…Whatever happened back in Minnesota, she was floundering. She came home, expecting things to be a certain way, and when they weren’t…” She trails off with a shrug.
“Safety,” I mutter, my brows drawing together. It was what drove me into Nolan’s arms, but it was also what brought me back to Sterling Creek, even knowing Braxton was still here.
