Gracie and I aren’t going to be an easy fix. I have always known that. She couldn’t give me an answer that night at Benson’s, her expression still wary whenever shethought I wasn’t looking. But I told her I was fighting for her, and I am not going to stumble at the first hurdle.
“I’ll prove myself to her,” I say, almost to myself. “I’ll work to get her trust back.”
Nolan makes a small noise. I look up, finding him leaning against the side of the car, eyes locked on me. “Once trust is broken, it’s almost impossible to fix.”
“You sound like you’re speaking from experience.”
“Show me someone who hasn’t had their trust broken at least once,” he says dryly, “and I’ll happily call them a liar.”
I dip my chin. “Yeah.” The silence stretches out between us, tension mounting in small increments. “You think you’ll come back?” The question scrapes against my throat like sharp rocks.
He might have shit happening back at home with his family, but there’s also a reason he came back here with Gracie. It guts me to know that someone else was there for her, holding her while she was sad, and that jealousy beats at me whenever I share air with him.
Nolan’s watching me with shrewd eyes, and after a beat, he says honestly, “I don’t know. This isn’t—” He glances around the quiet street, mouth twitching. “I’m not a small town guy.” He looks back at me, arching a brow, the implication clear. “Gracie…She’s part of my history. I think knowing her…” Nolan frowns, his eyes dropping to the ground. “Our relationship came at a time when I needed to be grounded, and I’ll always be grateful for that. I was being sucked into a world of darkness and rot, and it was Gracie who kept me out of it.”
My brows lift at that, a sour taste filling my mouth. Before I can say a word, Nolan looks up, eyeing me carefully as he adds, “I was glad I could do the same for her.”
I swallow roughly. “I hate that you had to,” I saygruffly, unable to hold his stare. “I hate that I’m the reason that brought you back into her life.”
“You hate that I’m here at all,” Nolan surmises. There’s no point in denying it. Not when the answer is written all over my face. “What about you?” he asks.
“What about me?”
Nolan doesn’t answer straight away, his eyes going back to the house, like he’s checking that Gracie isn’t going to make an appearance. “What happens now? With Paisley?”
I frown in bemusement, shaking my head. “Nothing. I’m done with her. For good.”
After Nick went to his parents’ home the other night, he found Esther screaming at Joseph while Paisley threw clothes into a bag. Now, Esther and Paisley are gone, and Nick has shut down on the subject of his family, focusing himself completely on finding the guy who attacked Gracie instead.
Nolan’s expression doesn’t change, his tone bland as he reminds me, “Your best friend is her brother.”
“I’m aware, but it doesn’t change anything. Nick knows that.”
I hate explaining myself to Nolan, but I also appreciate the way he took care of Gracie while she was hurt. She doesn’t have many people in her life who genuinely care for her, and pushing Nolan away because of my jealousy isn’t the right move.
“Isn’t that part of the reason Paisley was even a problem?” Nolan keeps prodding, his brows knitting together. “You had history with her, and your family were friends. You think she’ll stop being a problem just because you decide so?”
“Gracie comes first,” I murmur softly. “Always.” I slide my hands into my pockets, tipping my head back and looking up at the overcast sky. “I let her down. I got in myown head, forgetting what she truly meant to me. I got a taste of what it was like to lose everything.”
“You didn’t lose everything,” Nolan counters. “You had your job, your family, your friends.”
“And yet it felt meaningless without her,” I admit, the confession easier without looking at him. “I’m terrified. Every day, I worry about losing myself to that spiral again. Paisley…She walked through a door I edged open because I was lost in my own guilt. I didn’t have the strength to shove her right back out.” I exhale slowly, trying to forcibly push every negative feeling out into the ether. “I was facing this battle to survive, and I crumbled, taking the easy out that she offered.”
“Why?”
I drop my chin, finding Nolan watching me curiously. But there’s compassion hiding behind his hazel eyes, too, and I think he understands more than he’s letting on.
“Why did I take the easy out?” I clarify, and he nods. “I don’t know. Maybe I knew that letting Gracie in meant actually facing what happened to me, and I wasn’t ready to do it. Maybe Paisley just represented a time where people—children—didn’t die. I never—” I clear my throat, feeling like a rock is lodged there. “I was confused during a time when I didn’t have the energy to fight. Not with Gracie, Paisley”—I glance down—“or my own demons.”
Nolan’s stare is assessing, but I don’t feel like he’s judging me. His attention shifts over my shoulder, and I pause, not needing to hear the creak of wood to know that Gracie is standing there.
A step, and then her arm brushes against mine, sending electricity bursting through me. I look down at her, but she’s staring straight ahead, the slightest tremble to her mouth.
“You’re fighting now,” she says, but it’s a question. Arequest for reassurance, or maybe validation that she’s making the right choice.
I slide an arm around her shoulders, pressing my lips to her temple. “I’m all fight, Rumpel. I’ve got too much to lose.”
Gracie still doesn’t look at me, but some of the tension leaves her shoulders. She looks over at Nolan, her lashes fluttering before she changes the subject. “You all ready to go?”
