“You know.”
“I know,” I confirm. “Nolan told me. How are you feeling?”
Gracie lifts a shoulder, wincing slightly. “Not great. This isn’t…” She looks away. “It’s not something I ever imagined happening to me.”
I reach across the table, unable to stop myself from taking her hand. “What can I do for you?” I ask, needing to feel less than fucking useless. “What can I get you? Do you need your pain meds?”
“I don’t know. I had some just before we left the hospital, but I don’t know what time it was. Nolan…” Gracie trails off, her eyes searching mine. “I’m glad you’re here.” She sounds just as surprised as I feel at her words. “I wanted to message you yesterday. I was going to do it before…” She pales, looking away. “I was going to do itbefore.”
Hope eases the tightness in my chest. “You were?” I pause. “We don’t need to do this now.” I squeeze her hand, and she looks down at where I’m holding her. “We can talk when you’re feeling better.”
Gracie keeps her head down, and I can’t get a read on her. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a couple of weeks now, but I guess it was just easier to hide from it all. Nolan”—I groan dramatically, and a smile peeks out across Gracie’s face, making me feel about a thousand feet tall—“told me that, by avoiding talking to you, I was doing what you did to me. Shutting you out, and…” She blows out a heavy breath. “I don’t think I’ve been fair to you.”
I shake my head, pressing my hand against hers. “You didn’t owe me anything, least of all your time. You have nothing to feel bad for.”
Gracie pulls her hand out from mine as she looks up, her eyes flicking to the living room, where we still hear Nolan faintly on the phone. It’s a confirmation I didn’t need, and bitter jealousy swamps my chest. I don’t let it fester, breathing through it as Gracie looks back at me, her expression cautious.
Guess we’re doing this now.
I don’t rush my answer, carefully sorting through every emotion that’s been building in my chest, knowing there won’t be another shot at this conversation.
I catch her eyes with mine, refusing to let go. “You havenothingto feel bad for,” I insist, knowing I need to give her honesty. I won’t let myself fall back into the same patterns of hiding and shutting down, no matter how much easier it feels. “I won’t lie to you anymore. Not about anything.” I sigh, dropping my chin to my chest. “I feel like I’m boiling over with emotions, not all of them good. I fucking hate that Nolan has been there for you, in whatever ways that looks like. That he’s been in this house with you guts me more than anything else you might have done, and last night? Knowing you called him over me? That fucking devastated me, but how could I blame you for it?”
Gracie’s mouth trembles. “I don’t even remember calling him,” she whispers. “It was after I called 911, and I just…”
She went through something deeply traumatic, and herinstinct was to call another man over me, but…I did the same thing.
I confided in Paisley, choosing to shut Gracie out. I chose to minimize my girlfriend’s feelings, prioritizing another woman over her.
“You needed someone safe, and that wasn’t me,” I say bluntly. “But it will be.”
Gracie’s expression softens, but her eyes are swimming with doubt. “It feels like too much has happened, Braxton. There’s still so much we haven’t talked about, and I don’t know how we can ever go back to where we were.”
I shake my head. “We weren’t in a good place, Gracie. Even if we didn’t see it, there were already cracks. I was trying to protect you from my trauma, but I—” I break off at the look she sends me, my cheeks warming. “I’m working on myself. I never stopped, even after you left. I knew if I wanted to fight for us, I had to make sure you would know that history would never repeat itself.”
Gracie’s breath leaves her in a rush, her eyes flaring, and I know I hit the nail right on the head. “I keep thinking about how it seemed so easy for you to block me out, and Paisley…” She closes her eyes, mouth twisting. “You didn’t trust me with your pain, and now I don’t trust you at all.”
“It won’t be something that happens overnight,” I tell her, “but I’m not going to give up on earning your trust back. I won’t give up on proving that you’re it for me. I just need one more chance, Gracie.” She looks away, her lips pressed together tightly, and I hear the sound of footsteps approaching. “I don’t need an answer right now, but…think about it. Okay?”
She glances back at me, giving the faintest nod, and then Nolan appears, his eyes bouncing between the two of us curiously.
“Hey, man,” I say. “You know when Gracie’s due forsome pain meds? I think she needs them.” It’s not a lie. The lines etched into the skin around her mouth have only deepened as we’ve talked, and I’m worried about how pale she is.
Nolan shoots her a frown and then disappears back the way he came, presumably to go find the medicine. While we’re waiting for him to come back, there’s a knock at the door right before my parents let themselves in.
“Hello,” Mom calls out. “We’ve brought the goods!”
“In the kitchen,” I tell her, never taking my eyes off Gracie, smiling as she perks up at the sound of my mother.
Nolan comes back into the room before my parents, giving us a tight smile. “Here are the instructions,” he tells me, handing over a packet of papers and the medicine. “She’ll need food.”
“I’ve got that covered,” Mom declares as she comes in, three bags hooked onto her arms. Dad is right behind her, a huge covered casserole dish clutched in his hands. “But watch your father, Brax. If he steals one more cookie, he’s sleeping in the shed tonight.”
Dad grumbles good-naturedly, and Nolan’s mouth twitches as he watches the two of them set the food out on the counters. After a beat, he looks at Gracie. “You look like you’re in good hands, so I’m gonna head out for a bit. You don’t need me lurking when your family is here.” He gives Gracie a knowing look, and she nods.
“Thanks, Nolan.”
He looks over at me, ordering, “Message me if you need anything.”
