“I was trying to spare you! Someone is trying to kill me, and I don’t want you involved!” Zaria was on her feet now, eyes stinging. “I definitely don’t want you learning alchemology—you might as well ask me to put a damned target on your back! You’re the one person left who I care about. Can’t you see that I’m just trying to keep you safe?”
“By cutting me out?” Jules shook his head in disgust, a vein bulging at the side of his neck. “You get frustrated with me whenever Iask you not towork yourself to death, and meanwhile you’re lying to me because you think I need protection? We’re supposed to be a team, and we could have dealt with all of this together. Don’t give me this rubbish about wanting to keep me safe. Nothing about our lives is safe. You’ve taken it upon yourself to play savior, and its bullshit.”
Anguish speared through her anew. “That’s not what I’m trying to do! I just can’t lose—”
“You can’t lose me?” He interrupted her harshly, a strangled laugh escaping his throat. “I’m practically a grown man, Zaria, not a child you need to protect. If you were as committed to getting out of the slum as you claim to be, you’d know we need to work together. You want that better life so badly? Stop making impulsive choices that only make everything worse. Bepatient. I’ve been squirreling away shillings for months while all you’ve done is lose money, just like your father did.”
Zaria flinched as the shock and hurt drained out of her, giving way to numb disbelief. “That’s not fair.”
“No. Dreaming of a better future together while lying to my face as you pursue it?That’snot fair.” Jules’s hands were clenched at his sides, his lips trembling. “You know it’s not, or you wouldn’t look so fucking guilty right now.”
They simply stood there for a moment, warring dark gazes locked, breaths coming fast. Zaria didn’t know how to respond. There didn’t seem to be anything left to say. The world felt like it was collapsing around her, and she wished the ground would yawn open to swallow her up.
“I’d better go meet Kane and Fletcher,” Zaria said finally, her voice toneless. Dead. “You don’t have to come. We both know you don’t want to anyway.”
Jules only kept staring at her, his face unreadable. How had everything changed so fast? How had a few unspoken words fractured their friendship with such swift efficiency?
“Yeah,” he said eventually. He sounded as empty as Zaria felt. “Yeah, Idon’twant to. I’ll see you later.”
And then he was gone, the door slamming hollowly behind him.
A short while later, Zaria sat on the front stoop of the pawnshop, solanum lamp flickering beside her. Regret was a sickness in the pit of her belly. True to his word, Jules didn’t join her.
Kane Durante was the last person she wanted to see just now. His presence confused her emotions, and she was already emotional enough. Once this next week was over, she wanted to erase all thoughts of him, to wipe the slate clean. For tonight, though, she only had to be civil and maintain his trust.
Someone in the area had started a fire—the air was acrid with the stench of burning rubbish, and a group of rowdy youths were mafficking at the end of the block. Zaria couldn’t imagine what they could possibly be whooping about, and she found herself growing more irritable as the minutes pressed on, mustering a grim smile only when Lottie and her son passed by.
As dusk’s fading glow gave way to night, the unmistakable shapes of Kane and Fletcher rounded the corner. Zaria recognized them even in her periphery. Fletcher was taller than anyone else she knew, and Kane was… well, she swore she couldsensehis presence and hated herself for that fact.
She stood up as they neared. Fletcher was sporting a black frockcoat and gray trousers while Kane wore a pair of suspenders over a white shirt unbuttoned at the collar. He looked exactly like a boy who might try to rob you.
Zaria could scarcely bear to look at him.
She had never deluded herself into thinking she was a particularly good person; after all, she supplied London’s most dangerous citizens with magical weapons and devices. But she was beginning to realize that she wasn’t bad in the way Kane was bad. At least she had a conscience, husk of a thing that it was.
“You look terrible,” Kane said by way of greeting.
“Thanks.” The single word was clipped.
Fletcher tsked. “You’re not supposed to say things like that to a lady.”
Zaria said nothing, though the prospect of being considered aladywas absurd. She returned Fletcher’s nod of acknowledgment, trying to ignore the tiny resurgence of guilt that followed. Trying to ignore the possibility that, if she had things her way, he might just die in six days’ time.
“Where’s your shadow?” Kane asked her, scanning the street.
“Excuse me?”
“That scowly creature you always seem to have around. Julian.”
Zaria frowned even as she was aware of the irony. “I suspect you’re thinking ofyourshadow. And if I recall correctly, his name is Fletcher.”
“Hey,” Fletcher objected.
They both ignored him.
“Jules,” Zaria said through the restriction in her throat, “is busy tonight.”
This evidently irked Kane, who shot a terrifying look at a dirtyyoung man slinking by. He waited until the man was out of earshot before saying, “My plan takes him into account.”
