“Hey, trust me. I’m not any happier about this than you are, but I’ve officially run out of ideas.”
“What about a hot shower?”
“What happens when you step out of a hot shower and the air is cold and all the heat evaporates and you’re at square one again?” I countered. “Or what if you lose consciousness and slip or?—”
“I’m not going to lose conscious-sssness.” Silas gritted his teeth in apparent frustration.
“I get that this is uncomfortable, but this is science. You need heat, and I’m a good source.” I hoped he wouldn’t make any homophobic asshole comments and make me regret any of this, but for insurance purposes, I added, “We can agree this house is a cone of silence if you’d like. Whatever happens here, stays here. Got it?”
“Uh…okay. If you’re a pillow, I’m going to move my foot…here.” He hiked his foot over my ankle. “Is this cool?”
“Sure.”
I rested my arm at my side, and quickly realizing it wouldn’t help him, I set a tentative hand on his hip.
“If I get a woody, it’s not y-you,” he stuttered.
“Don’t talk. Just…close your eyes and try to sleep.”
“Yeah, fucking right. We’re spooning. How am I supposed to sl-sleep?”
“If we were spooning, your ass would be pointing the other way, genius.”
He chuckled. “Or yours would.”
My mouth twisted involuntarily. “Shh. Have you ever done any breath work?”
“Wh-what?”
“It’ll help. Inhale for four counts, hold for seven, and exhale for eight. I’ll count with you. One-two-three-four. Now hold?—”
Silas busted up laughing. “S-sorry. I’ll try again. Fix your voice, though. You sound like Dracula.”
I pursed my lips in mock annoyance, mimicking The Count fromSesame Streeton my next effort. Imitating comical voices was one of my evil powers, much to my kids’ delight or sometimes chagrin. “No good?”
“Actually, it’s great. K-keep going.” He snickered.
It didn’t go any better on the third or fourth take. Silas’s laughter was infectious, and finding humor in odd circumstances made the weirdness tolerable. After a few minutes, his breathing steadied and his teeth stopped chattering. His eyes were closed, but I wasn’t positive he was asleep. I didn’t want to disturb him, so I stayed as still as possible, watching the glow from the fire play across his face.
I felt like a voyeur, and if I hadn’t been so steadfast in my resolve to mentally create a safe distance, I’d have been worried about being caught perving.
Not that I’d act on even a trace of attraction. The one nice thing about hobbling into my forties was that I had iron-clad control over my libido.
Oops.
I’d spoken too soon.
In my defense, I hadn’t been this close to a man—lying pressed against each other—in a long while. Random hookups didn’t count. Not that there’d been many of those recently. Small-town living wasn’t conducive to fucking around. Everyone found out what you were up to at some point…no matter how cautious you were.
A few of Silas’s lingering glances made me wonder if he might be bisexual too, but I wouldn’t ask and I’d probably never know. I just wanted him to get better and ideally, get the hell out ASAP.
With that in mind, I lifted a corner of the blanket and oh-so-slowly inched away. I waited till I was positive he was out to gather my clothing and get up. The room was dark, but the crackle of wood in the fireplace and Silas’s snoring were awelcome contrast to the wicked wind howling and the scrape of a tree branch on the window. At this rate, the power would go out and the generator would take over any minute now.
I dumped my clothes into a hamper in the laundry room, grabbed Silas’s things from the dryer and left them on the sofa before tiptoeing upstairs. I took a quick shower and redressed in a pair of sweats, a black Henley, and my comfiest slippers. Downstairs again, I grabbed my laptop and my reading glasses, then settled at the kitchen island to do a little work.
I sent out a company-wide email regarding the weather. Those who could work from home would do so, but everyone else would likely get a snow day tomorrow too. I checked the status on a large delivery we were expected to ship out next week, touched base with our main distributor, and sent an early good-night text to Ivy and Chase. I was pleased the message went through and that I still had an Internet connection.
That wouldn’t last. Neither kid responded, which made me think Sarah’s had gone out already. Dangerous territory. I could feel familiar frustration gnaw at my insides. I was an expert at worrying about shit I couldn’t control. Were they warm enough? Had Sarah prepared properly and made sure they had food and supplies and?—
