Okay, I liked the color blue, and I sort of liked my parents’ music. Mom said she had a crush on that guy from that ’80s group, Duran…something. Duran Duran. Yeah, that was it. I didn’t know the lead singer’s name, but I thought he was hot too. Not that I’d say so.
Except…I could if I wanted.
I could do anything I wanted now. I was unattached, divorced, totally alone. I could flirt with a guy…just to see if I knew how to do it. No one would have to know and hell, even if they found out, what would they do…fire me?
I snickered to myself, swiping my runny nose with the back of my hand. Shit, my face was frozen, my fingers were icicles, and I was afraid to look at my feet. These sneakers were new and expensive and?—
Christ, where was I? I had to be close to Vally’s place. I’d been walking for hours. Okay, more like ten minutes—rough minutes, though. I wasn’t sure if I’d even passed the second block. Where were the fucking street signs? There was nothing out here buttrees and a winding road. It might be time to give hitchhiking a try.
Not possible. My fingers had become one with the paper grocery bags.
Just as well. At this rate, I’d get picked up by a lunatic. I could see the headlines now: “Former Pro Football Star Picked up by Mass Murderer in the Mountains.” No, “Football Has-Been Frozen in Vermont—Scoop at Eleven!”
Shit, I was delirious. And I still had to pee. Don’t worry, I wasn’t going to whip my dick out now. It would shrivel and fall off for sure. Definitely not funny, but a cartoon image of a blue penis in the snow cracked me up. I giggled like a delinquent kid, trudging along…hopefully in the right direction.
What was the address? I didn’t know it off the top of my head. If the cops came to the rescue, I wouldn’t be able to tell them where to go. No, not true. I had the info in my cell. I could look it up.Whoa. Even better, I could call 9-1-1.
What’s your emergency, sir?
My balls are frozen! Help!
I snicker-snorted, my eyes blurring as I shuffled, one foot in front of the other. The grocery bags weighed a fucking ton now, and they clipped my upper thighs with every step I took.
Wait. I didn’t have to call 9-1-1. I could call my neighbor. The lumberjack.
He was a nice guy. He would pick me up. And he was hot, too. For an older dude. Nah, he wasn’t that much older than me. I’d bet he was in his forties, though. He had a little silver in his hair…like a silver fox. Yeah…I liked him. No, no, no. This was his fault, ’member?
I stopped suddenly, blinking as I unpeeled my fingers from the grocery bags and let them fall at my feet. The eggs collided with the tomato soup. That couldn’t be good, but I had bigger worries on my mind. I couldn’t move my fucking fingers, and myteeth were chattering harder than ever. I reached into my pocket for my cell, fumbling and almost dropping it.
It took monumental powers of concentration to get my body parts to cooperate. Scrolling for a number was a nuanced maneuver akin to guiding a plane onto a runway in dense fog. I rubbed my nose and sniffed, refocusing my vision just enough to read the name I’d added to my contacts a couple of hours ago.
Cooper. I pressed the number, my breath wafting in theatrical plumes as I waited for him to answer.
One ring, two, three?—
“Coop.”
“Sss me. No t-t-taxi and…now ssss cold.”
“Hello?”
“Hi. Um…”
“Who is this?”
“Sss…n-n-neighbor.” I squinted against the glare of the falling snow, grinding my teeth and rasping a pathetic, “Help.”
CHAPTER 4
COOPER
Neighbor? What the fuck?
It took a beat for me to process who was calling and then— “Silas?”
“Mmm. Sss-yes.”
“Where are you?”
