I shrugged.
He pointed to his pile. “There’s a dry spot by mine.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
He braced his hands on his hips, and he should have looked ridiculous like that, stark naked in the snow, but he didn’t. He looked as commanding and put-together as always. He looked in charge. Why did he always get to be in charge? He wasn’t my father.
No, he was just the guy who fucked me and then told me what to do. He wasalwaystelling me what to do.
“It’s forty degrees out here,” he said. “You’re not wearing wet clothes all the way home.”
My jaw ached. Hunger churned in my gut, sending saliva rushing into my mouth. “Can we just get this over with?” I snapped. “I’m fucking starving.”
Jesse’s nostrils flared. “We’ve had more than one discussion about profanity.”
“Yeah, and you said I could cuss. Not that I need your fucking permission.”
A slow, menacing smile spread over his face. But it didn’t reach his eyes, which had started to glow. “Pick up those clothes and put them where I told you. Then you can apologize for your language.”
Red flickered over my vision. Hunger ripped at my insides like knives stabbing me over and over. And, goddamn, it hurt. I was so tired of hurting. So tired of slamming into obstacles no matter which way I turned. Tired of never doing the right thing. Tired of being told what to do.
Why should anyone get to tell me what to do? The knives sank deeper. Nausea burned my throat. So hungry.
Fuck, I wasstarving.
Jesse bared his teeth, his canines longer than they should have been. “Pick up the clothes, pup,” he growled, his power whipping like a lash. It struck my shoulder, and I stumbled backward, my fingers curling into fists. I squeezed them so tightly that crescents of pain bit into my palms. The scent of blood filled the air.
Jesse smiled.
Blood rushed in my ears as I took a deliberate step forward, stepping on his sweater and grinding it into the snow. I opened my mouth to speak just as pain shot through my jaw. When I was in middle school, the dentist had started filling a cavity before I was fully numb. He’d fixed me up with an extra injection of whatever crap they used, but that initial zinger had staked a permanent residence in my brain.
This pain was that zinger multiplied tenfold. It hit like a gunshot firing in my skull, dropping me to my knees and wrenching a choked cry from my throat.
Jesse was beside me in less than a second, his big hands on my body and his deep voice crooning in my ears.
“That’s it, Caleb. You’re doing it. Hands and knees, baby, don’t fight me.” He helped me go to all fours as red covered my vision and another gunshot fired inside my skull.
“Fuck!” I whimpered, collapsing to my forearms.
“No, no, no,” Jesse said, pulling me back up. “Come on, babe. You’ve got this.” He seized my shoulders when I tried to go back down, and he grunted as he forced me to hold position.
Sweat coated my skin. Fuck, I was hot. Burning up, actually. But something cool and wet spread under me.
Snow.
I reached for it, clawing at the ground. Trying to grab onto the coolness I knew it would bring.
“Nope,” Jesse said, hauling me back. His voice went in and out, like someone messing with the volume control on a radio. “Listen to me, Caleb. Stop fighting, and let it happen. The pain isn’t going anywhere, so let it go through you. I’ve got you. I’ve got you, sweetheart, do you hear me? I won’t ever let you go.”
My jaw hung open. Drool ran down my chin. Nausea twisted my guts, and I doubled over and spewed coffee and bile onto the ground. Fire seared my throat. Another wave of sickness cramped my gut, but my tank was empty, and I ended up dry-heaving helplessly.
“Baby…” Jesse breathed, regret in his voice. “I shouldn’t have given you that coffee.”
I tried to speak, but I couldn’t stop coughing long enough to tell him it was all right. I’d wanted it. When my stomach finished turning itself wrong side out, I leaned against Jesse and sobbed.
“Look at me,” he said, grabbing my face and forcing my gaze to his. And, oh, he was beautiful with his thick hair and those long, dark lashes.Do I look like an angel or a devil?
Angel. He was an angel.
